


Take A Walk With Me

by winds0fchange19



Category: Harry Potter - J. K. Rowling
Genre: Angst, Best Friends, F/M, Friends With Benefits, Friends to Lovers, Hogwarts Professors, Page 394 Discord Winter Holidays Celebration, prompt: jealousy
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2020-12-29
Updated: 2021-02-14
Packaged: 2021-03-10 22:07:01
Rating: Explicit
Warnings: Creator Chose Not To Use Archive Warnings
Chapters: 12
Words: 40,470
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/28414368
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/winds0fchange19/pseuds/winds0fchange19
Summary: Severus never thought he would ever go back to Hogwarts if he was so fortunate as to survive the second wizarding war, but Hogwarts was the only place Severus had ever really felt at home.Two years after the second Wizarding War, Severus Snape returns home. After spending months at his bedside, Professor Hermione Granger is determined to get him to let her in, but saving your ex-professor you barely knew has its consequences. Severus struggles with the fact she saved his life, pushing her away at every turn. Until one day, he lets her in. After a drunken one night stand, Hermione and Severus become Friend With Benefits, determining their friendship would not be affected. But what happens when someone realizes their true feelings? They make each other jealous, of course!Written for the Page 394 Discord Winter Holidays Celebration; Prompt: Jealousy
Relationships: Hermione Granger/Severus Snape
Comments: 36
Kudos: 221
Collections: Page 394 Discord Winter Holidays Celebration





	1. Prologue

**Author's Note:**

  * In response to a prompt by Anonymous in the [00_Page_394_Winter_Holidays_Collection](https://archiveofourown.org/collections/00_Page_394_Winter_Holidays_Collection) collection. 



> This is my first multi-chapter work. I originally meant to write this prompt as a one shot, but it took on a life of its own. I do hope you all enjoy it, my word limit was definitely exceeded! 
> 
> Happy Reading,  
> Caboose

**Prologue**

**1998 - Second Wizarding War**

“Don’t die...Gods, please, Severus, stay with me.” Severus faded in and out of existence. Someone was there, a female. The spy had long since made peace with the fact he would never live past the war, and yet as he lay dying, he did not want to accept his death. 

Severus strained to hear her voice again, his breathing shallow. His eyes too heavy to open, he attempted to speak. It came out as a quiet moan, indistinguishable even to him. 

“I know, stay with me. Please don’t give up.” A broken sob in his ear and he feels the press of her hands on his face, in his hair...ghosting over the skin on his neck. He knew that voice. 

Severus tried hard to fight his eyelids, managing to open them enough to see the blurry room where he’d been left to die and a familiar tear streaked face. Hermione Granger. She was busy digging through her bag, murmuring words he couldn’t make out. When she noticed him, Hermione pressed a hand to her mouth, another sob breaking through, hand going up to stroke his cheek for a moment, “I’m here, Severus. I’m here.” 

His eyes fall closed again. He was too tired to keep them open anymore and his body ached for sleep. Hermione’s hand was in his robes then, digging in every pocket before she found what she was looking for. He knew it was the antivenin without looking. 

He lost consciousness again. When he woke, he’d been dragged into the dark passage that led back to Hogwarts. Severus didn’t remember anything he said or didn’t say at that moment, only the feeling of her hand clutched tightly in his before she disappeared into the battle. He fell into a deep sleep.


	2. It’s Time to Wake Up From This

**Chapter One: It’s Time to Wake Up From This**

**(Title comes from** **_All We Ever Knew_ ** **\- The Head and the Heart)**

**Two years later - 2000-2001 School year**

Severus never thought he would ever go back to Hogwarts if he was so fortunate as to survive the second wizarding war, but Hogwarts was the only place Severus had ever really felt at home. Walking onto the grounds for the first time in two years, he couldn’t help but smile, even the tiniest sliver. He was _home._ Severus moved back into his rooms at the castle the day the staff was called back for the start of term, one week before classes officially resumed. He was both excited and anxious for what this year would bring. His life had changed drastically in the last few years and in a way, he had to rediscover who he really was.

Professor Severus Snape had always been known to be the toughest professor at Hogwarts, with high expectations of his students and only allowing those at the top of his gradebook to advance on to his N.E.W.T. level classes. He was also known to be the most detestable professor. This was in part of the way Severus presented himself, closed off, unapproachable, and spiteful. He did not hate teaching, not really. Students who did not take his class seriously, uncoordinated dunderheads, and arrogant Gryffindors were what made Severus so bad-tempered. That, combined with being a double agent during the second wizarding war in which the Dark Lord spent many hours a week torturing him while Dumbledore used him as a pawn for the Order had him in a constant state of exhaustion. Severus had no excuse for his actions over his 15 years of teaching, of course. However, it was a struggle every day when he couldn’t deny his alliance with Death Eaters while students whispered rumors and even once caught him on _fire._

_Hermione Granger. Hermione Granger was the one who caught him on fire. And yet, there she was, saving him from certain death as if he was at all important to this world._

This was certainly not how Severus imagined his life after the war. Then again, the likelihood he would even survive was very slim. He had no plans. Being back at Hogwarts was like being a new staff member again. There was nothing changed about the castle, especially since it was restored to its former glory after the war, and there were only a handful of new staff Severus didn’t recognize. Standing in the middle of his personal quarters, it was like he’d never left. Minerva must have known he would always return to Hogwarts - even when he did not. He took a deep breath, sinking into his favorite chair and closed his eyes. So much to do and there was a staff meeting in 20 minutes, but Severus wanted nothing more than to enjoy the comforts of being back home again after so long away. There was still the matter of his potions lab and cleaning it up after nearly three years of use by Horace Slughorn - Severus was not looking forward to that. There were lesson plans and new syllabi to create as well as settling back into teaching. A staff meeting was the furthest thing from his mind. 

Most of Severus’ first year after the war was spent at St Mungos. Despite the work Hermione did to save him, Severus was in a coma for nearly 9 months. He was lucky to be alive at all. Severus remembered the day he woke from his coma, Hermione was the first person he saw. 

He was confused, disoriented, and believed himself to be dead. There were so many unanswered questions, Severus hadn’t known where to begin. 

> _Severus opened his eyes slowly._ Where was he? _He glanced slowly around his surroundings. St. Mungos. He was_ alive _. Severus didn’t understand. He should have been dead. There was no life after the war for Severus, no plans. His hand rested on the blanket and he looked curiously at it. There was a hand clutched in his, thumb sliding absently over his skin. He looked up, searching for its owner. “Granger?” He croaked, voice cracked and dry from months of misuse._
> 
> _Hermione’s eyes went wide and she let out a sob, sending the book in her lap sliding to the floor._ “Severus.” she whimpered his name and he blinked at her. Why was she there? _And why did she save his life in the first place? There was virtually no relationship between them before that night._
> 
> _Nothing made sense to Severus and he started to panic. If he was here and...and Granger was here...where was the rest of the Order? Where was Pomona? And where was...“_ Minerva. _” he choked out, realizing the young witch was alone. Where was Minerva? Why_ wasn’t _she there? The last time he saw her...the way she looked at him._
> 
> Coward. She’d called him a coward and...and…
> 
> _A loud wail broke over the silence of the hospital and Hermione jumped up, hand going to softly touch Severus’ cheek. He realized then that the sound had come from him and he gasped for breath. No...no… She was gone. They were gone. They were gone and they never knew how much he cared for them. “Where?” He gasped, squeezing his eyes shut._
> 
> _The young woman before him shushed him gently, her free hand going to his hair. “We won, Severus.” She whispered, as she wiped away his tears and stroked his hair softly. “Minerva is fine. She’s okay and so are you.”_

Minerva had rushed in shortly after, fussing over him and shoeing Hermione away in search of the healer. She was a friend, and though Severus never told him everything she meant to him, Minerva seemed to understand. Pomona arrived shortly after, with tears in her eyes and her arms open for a hug. Severus was honored when Minerva asked for his return to Hogwarts. With nowhere else to go, Severus went home. 

* * *

The staff meeting was in Headmistress Minerva McGonagall’s office, and though he had to force himself out of his chair, Severus was early. He found a seat in the back, as he always did in the plush settee, planning to keep a low profile. He was hoping for a quick meeting, but unfortunately for Severus, Minerva’s start of the year staff meeting always ran long. That much, he remembered quite well. 

The other staff had filed in, chatting idly amongst themselves, each one finding a spot near the front while Severus sat back in his seat. There were a few new professors amongst the group and he almost felt out of place now. One new professor, who he could only assume to be the new Muggle Studies or perhaps, Defense Against the Dark Arts professor, sat next to Filius Flitwick. She was short, with long ginger waves dancing down her back and bright green eyes like Lily Evans. Severus pretended not to notice that. Poppy sat a few chairs ahead and she waved and smiled at him when she walked in. As did Pomona Sprout. It was nice to see them returning for another school year, as well as most of the staff he remembered. 

Minerva had just called the meeting to order when the Transfiguration professor flew through the door, apologizing profusely for her tardiness. Her hair was wild and tangled down her back and she was breathing hard. In all his years of knowing her, Severus had never known her to be late. Then again, he would not be surprised if she had gotten caught up with a book and lost track of time.

“Hermione, please, take a seat. We were just about to begin.” Minerva said tersely as Professor Granger scanned the room for what Severus could only assume was in search of a place to sit, before she hurried to the only seat available. Which happened to be at the very back of the room, on the wonderfully plush settee next to Professor Snape. 

Severus didn’t look up when felt the cushion next to him dip when she sat down. He was not sure what to make of such a situation or of any of the contact they’ve had in the two years since the war. Like usual, he just let it happen as he knew there was no way of stopping her. “I’m sorry, Severus, I know you’d rather sit alone.” the witch beside him explained in a quiet voice. 

Severus only leaned heavily on his arm against the armrest and hummed lowly in response. He knew that this was the only seat left, but he knew she was planning on sitting there next to him all along. If he’d learned anything about her after the incident, it was that Hermione was persistent. When he was at the hospital, she was there nearly every day. She often brought a book or on occasion, parchements to grade and lesson plans. More than one occasion, he’d drifted off to sleep only to wake up in the late hours of the night to her sleeping with her head laid across his legs and hand grasped tightly in his. Hermione never mentioned it and Severus never asked. 

At some point, her visiting his home after he was released from the hospital became a weekly occurrence. They talked of anything but the war or the situation between them and Severus’ responses were mostly grumbles or hums of disagreement unless she engaged him in academic debate. Severus hated to admit that he found enjoyment in these visits and he still had no idea as to why she came, but he let her in every time. 

Right now as she settled in next to him, he’d rather she just keep quiet. This meeting would already be bad enough and Severus was already in a melancholy mood since arriving at the castle earlier that day. He wouldn’t even know what to say now anyway, if placed in a situation alone with the young woman beside him - this wasn’t in the comforts of his home he knew eventually she would want to discuss the war. Hermione shut up, frowned softly, and faced the front. Severus silently thanked her and let out a breath through his nose, trying to ignore her knee pressed against his. 

The meeting seemed to go on for hours, while Minerva went over the typical start of the year information. A question and answer free for all for the staff was what took up the most time. The Potions Master hated this portion of any staff meeting. The professors and staff at Hogwarts were all decent people and Severus couldn’t honestly say he had anyone he particularly had a strong distaste for. In fact, he was immensely glad to see many of them again, even if he did not show it. However, listening to his colleagues discuss their concerns and comments of the upcoming school year for an hour and a half was not how Severus wanted to spend his evening. 

Severus tapped his fingers softly on the cushion beside him as he stared toward the front with a bored expression. He let out a loud sigh as Hermione shifted uncomfortably beside him. They were sitting close, seeing as the settee they shared only fit two people. He shifted away from her when her knee bumped him again. He snuck a glance at her, glaring as she adjusted herself again with a quiet sigh. Even she looked quite bored. He shook his head in frustration and sat back against the cushions, crossing his arms. 

“Headmistress, I have great things planned for the Frog Choir this year.” Filius boasted, catching his attention. He rolled his eyes, the Frog Choir, in Severus’ opinion, was actually quite embarrassing compared to what other magical schools were boasting. He thought back to the Triwizard Tournament many years ago. Hogwarts looked inferior due to their lack of finesse compared to Durmstrang and Beauxbatons. “Our numbers are declining and I’m at a loss this year concerning recruitment. What more can we do to show the study body how wonderful we are?” 

Severus snorted, pressing his fist to his mouth to keep from laughing. What a load of shite. Simultaneously as did Hermione to his left. She’d nonchalantly pressed her fingers to her lips, the sliver of a smile peeking out for him to see. Severus almost lost it then. To know that the woman next to him, Miss Know-It-All, was laughing at Filius Flitwick and his passion for Frog Choir was completely unexpected. She seemed to be the last person who would laugh at Filius Flitwick or his Frog Choir. After nearly a year of weekly tea with her, Severus could admit now that maybe it wasn’t so unexpected afterall.

The two professors eyed each other from the corner of their eyes, snickering behind their hands. “Maybe if you didn’t sing with bloody frogs.” She murmured softly, facing straight ahead. Since they were sitting rather close, Severus could hear every word. He drew in a breath and bit his lip behind his fist. Severus may have pushed back as much as he could previously, but he found now that he knew quite a lot more about Hermione Granger than he realized. She had a sense of humor and even sometimes sarcasm to match his own. 

Severus shook his head at the absurdity of it, fighting his laughter. The only thing funnier than Flitwick and his Frog Choir was Hermione’s private comments. Filius continued on and Severus could still feel the shake of Hermione’s shoulders with silent laughter. He bit back another grin as he attempted to listen to his coworker talk so passionately about the Frog Choir. “Perhaps more frogs could be procured for assistance.” Filius mused. 

A beat, “No, gods no more frogs.” Hermione breathed, sending air through her nose in an attempt to control her laughter. Severus stole a glance over at the woman next to him. Her face was red, and when their eyes met, Severus quirked his brow at her. Before the end of the war, he was not aware that Professor Granger could be so much like himself. Usually his comments were kept quietly to himself, but today it appeared that _she_ would be making those remarks out loud for him. Severus pressed his lips together. He never thought this particular young woman would ever make him laugh so much, but here they were, acting like a couple of unruly students in the back of the class. Perhaps, they’d grown closer than before without Severus even realizing it. 

“I could use your assistance, please talk to your classes -“ Flitwick’s voice cut in and they both turned to look at him. He was standing...on his chair. 

“Merlin’s beard, shut the fuck up.” Severus growled under his breath. He heard a snort before the witch beside him dropped her head to his shoulder. His robes muffled the sound of her laughter and Hermione’s hand gripped the fabric between her fist. 

“Compose yourself.” He murmured lowly in her ear, biting back a smile, and eyed the room. He was sure someone had heard her outburst, however Pomona was the only one looking back at them. She gave him a questioning look and he glared back at her. The only response was a shake of her head and an amused smile before she turned back toward the front. 

Exactly what Severus needed, more rumors. It was bad enough he was struggling with his alliance in the last war. Now, there would be talk of him and the Transfiguration professor. _How bloody wonderful._

Severus sighed heavily and grabbed the wrist of the professor whose face was still buried in his shoulder. “Off.” He commanded sternly in her ear. As much as he liked her physical touch, and gods did he not want to admit it, he pushed her away. This couldn’t happen; it could _never_ happen. Not from her. 

She blushed, “Sorry.” She murmured and bit back a smile. She held his gaze for a moment and grinned again. Severus rolled his eyes with a shake of his head. Fillius was _still_ fucking talking. Severus gave a low sigh and Hermione poked him in the side. “Wanna skive off?” 

He turned his head to look at her with a confused raise of an eyebrow, and she grinned again. Skive off? With her. Severus had never skipped out of a meeting in his many years at Hogwarts, though he probably could have quite easily. Doing so with the Transfiguration professor would be another situation entirely. Especially since he knew Minerva was privy to her visits to him, whether he liked it or not. 

Hermione had to have been drinking to ask _Severus_ to skive off. And Severus had to be mad to be seriously considering it. Without waiting for his answer, she glanced at Severus and cast a disillusionment charm over the both of them. He sighed as he watched her creep quietly across the room and Severus really had no choice but to follow her. He stood up, following close behind. She reached the door and her hand touched the knob. Clearly she hadn’t thought of how curious it would be for a door to suddenly open on its own. 

Severus hummed lowly, _brightest witch of her age, my arse_. He cast a quick ‘muffliato’ over them and flicked his wand to send a large stack of papers flying off the headmistress’s desk. When everyone turned their attention to the diversion, Severus practically shoved Hermione out the door, pulling the door shut behind them. He cancelled the spells and closed his eyes briefly. She practically had gotten them caught by being so careless and she was none the wiser. 

She grinned, wide eyed. “I can’t believe that worked!” Severus snorted and turned away from her, intending to get far away from the area. Hermione Granger would be the death of him. “Wait, where are you going?”

“My office.” Severus said over his shoulder without turning around. There was an entire week before classes were due to resume, but there were too many things for him to worry about. Hermione Granger was not on that list. It was ironic how simple and ‘first world’ his problems were now. For the first time in years, Severus’ only concern was his classroom. 

“Your office?” her footsteps echoed off the stone walls as she hurried to catch up. He sighed and shook his head, but did not stop. “So that’s it then? I ask you to skive off and we go our separate ways?”

“It appears so, Miss Granger.” 

She fell into step with him, scowling. “I am not your student, Severus.” she snapped, “We skipped out on _Minerva Mcgonagall,_ of all people and you’re just going to work in your office?” 

“Did I stutter?” He stopped suddenly and turned to glare at the other professor. Severus had to admit, the last two years were kind to her. The young witch was more confident, fierce, and if he was to admit it, beautiful. He never understood Hermione’s sudden interest in him, starting that night she saved his life. She was there, always. She sat at his bedside while he was in recovery, content to watch him sleep or eat or even glare at her for fuck’s sake. 

Severus shoved those intimate, deep thoughts of the pleasure of her company deep inside him. He _liked_ her visits, quite a lot. But what did it matter if he did or did not? She was young, his former student, and in fact, very much so meant for someone else entirely. He was supposed to die in the war and she was supposed to marry that detestable Weasley boy. Why she decided his life was worth saving was beyond him and he did not need to dig deeper into the memories of that night. 

“What were you expecting, an invite?” he snapped, glaring down at her.

“No, Severus, I was not expecting an invite.” Hermione matched his glare, crossing her arms over her chest. “We have an entire castle to ourselves. Forgive me for thinking we could take advantage of that.”

“Take advantage?” Warmth flooded to his cheeks and he turned away from her. “You thought wrong, Granger.” He made his escape, and of course, she followed. 

“I did _not_ mean it the way you think.” She groaned, catching up. “I meant...maybe we could take a walk.” 

“Fine.” 

She fell into step with him again and they walked in silence. The two professors make a lap around the castle, sneaking looks at each other. Severus didn’t know what to say, so he didn’t say anything at all. 

“It’s nice to have you back at the castle.” Hermione said quietly, breaking the silence between them as they descended the stairs toward the Slytherin common room. Severus grumbled under his breath. He knew she could probably talk enough for both of them. He also knew she knew he wouldn’t talk back; She should be used to that by now. “You were missed.” 

“ _Missed_ ?” he asked before he could think. Hogwarts was home to Severus and he had a lot of feelings for the castle and the staff within those stone walls but he never really gave much thought about how they’d felt about _him._ It was always an unspoken assumption in Severus’ mind that he would not be missed at all.

“Yes, professor, missed.” Hermione said matter-of-factly, placing a hand on his arm. He shrugged her off immediately, thinking back to the staff meeting and the way she clung to him. He subtly turned his head away, letting his hair fall over his cheeks to hide the blush. He had to admit, it was nice to laugh again. And it was quite amusing to see Hermione break out the sarcastic comments. 

They walked in silence again for a few minutes before Severus hesitantly spoke again. “I have doubt in that statement.” 

“Do you really think you are not capable of being _missed_?” She sighed, “We were worried about you, you know.”

“I’ve gathered.” He remarked dryly, “I would dare say there was no _we_. How many hours did you spend, alone mind you, watching me sleep, Granger?”

Now it was Hermione’s turn to blush and Severus smirked. “I...I wanted to make sure…” She cleared her throat and took a deep breath before continuing. “You nearly _died_ , Severus. Forgive me for worrying over your comatose body for 9 months!” 

Severus stopped walking, closing his eyes to take in her words. His memory of the incident was foggy, but he remembered the way she bent over him in tears, murmuring words of comfort. He could still hear her wretched sobs, _'Don’t die...Gods, please, Severus, stay with me.'_ Those words would haunt him forever. Without realizing it, he backed himself against the cold stone of the wall next to his classroom. He thought about his near death often. More than he should, perhaps, but Hermione Granger had saved his life and proven her immense talent and intelligence as well as compassion for a man she had every right to leave dying on the floor of the shrieking shack.

“Severus.” Her hand covered his where it rested against the wall. He didn’t say anything, nor did he push her away. He took a shuddering breath, cursing himself for letting the memory overtake him. 

It was a while before he spoke again. He looked down, his hair falling forward to hide himself from her view. “Why?”

“Because I couldn’t let you die like that.” She responded softly and he scoffed. 

Severus snapped his head up to meet her soft brown eyes full of concern. “I wasn’t meant to live past that war, Hermione.” 

“Why not? You sacrificed everything for that war! For...for Harry!” her eyes were filling with tears and Severus sucked in a deep breath, masking his own pain. He did not deserve another chance at life. Not for the first time since the war, Severus missed Albus. “Don’t you _dare_ tell me you didn’t deserve to live, Severus Snape!” 

“I am not some kind of war hero!” He growled, pulling his hand from under hers and pushing off the wall. “I am nothing to you, _nothing._ Perhaps you thought saving the life of your despised Potions professor would be noble, but fuck your Gryffindor bravery, Hermione!”

In a dramatic swirl of his robes, Severus disappeared into his classroom, slamming the door behind him.


	3. I Mean Nothing To You (And I Don’t Know Why)

**Chapter Two: I Mean Nothing To You (And I Don’t Know Why)**

**(Title from _Everything You Want_ \- Vertical Horizon )**

  
  


**1996 - Hermione’s 6th year**

  
  


> _ “I think he needs to get laid.” Ron snorted with his mouth full. Harry laughed into his pumpkin juice and wiped his mouth with his sleeve. Hermione tried her best to ignore them and continued with her reading. They were in the sitting room at the Burrow, Harry and Ron enjoying sandwiches on the sofa, despite Hermione’s protests of Molly’s rules. The boys had noticed the book she was reading - Advanced Potions. They’d teased her many times before for pre-reading her textbooks before the start of term and Hermione had learned long ago just to ignore it. This time however, the light teasing at Hermione turned into awful remarks about Professor Snape.  _
> 
> _ “Think he ever has?” Harry commented. Hermione closed her eyes and took a deep breath. Sometimes, she really did wonder why she chose to hang around with them. It wasn’t a new subject; they talked like this all the time. Honestly, Hermione was simply just sick of hearing it. She understood that Professor Snape wasn’t the kindest professor, but degrading his personal life was just a low she never expected her friends to stoop to. Hermione hated when the boys got like this.  _
> 
> _ “I couldn’t think of anyone who’d wanna be Snape’s lover. I don’t imagine he’d be any good at it.” Ron joked and the boys doubled over. Hermione snapped her head up to glare at them. Enough was enough. _
> 
> _ “Honestly, you two!” She huffed, slamming her book shut. “Grow up!”  _
> 
> _ Hermione marched up the stairs to Ginny’s room. She was thankful Ginny wasn’t around and threw her potions book onto the bed and sank down next to it. It wasn’t unlike her to defend Professor Snape from time to time and Hermione knew how truly awful he could be. Though, she could not say that he was a terrible teacher either. Once she took the time to listen to his instructions and think critically for herself rather than only memorize textbooks, she could see how thorough his teaching could be.  _
> 
> _ That didn’t, however, stop her from pre-reading every book for the new term and taking preliminary notes. And of course Hermione would still be memorizing the texts, but who said she couldn’t do both?  _
> 
> _ She sat on the bed designated to her for the summer and picked up the book. Thumbing through the pages, Hermione thought about the boys’ conversation. No wonder he acted the way he did. She couldn’t excuse everything, but Hermione supposed that if she was whispered about and insulted by her students every day, she wouldn’t be too nice either. All that on top of his position in the order. Even so, Professor Snape had to have had  _ someone _ to be intimate with at some point. It wasn’t that he was ugly just...not exactly conventionally attractive to most people. But then, so was Hermione, and she’d had at least one boy interested in her. She thought of him in front of their Potions class. The slam of the doors and the dramatic swirl of his robes...surely it wasn’t  _ everyone’s _ cup of tea but… _
> 
> _ Hermione subconsciously licked her lips, a flash of him standing naked before her workstation in her mind.  _
> 
> _ She gasped, the book sliding from her lap. No, no no no...that wasn’t. No. It was simply an accident, anyone could of thought of him...like that if one were to be scrutinizing his sex life. _
> 
> But...he certainly had to be bigger than that, right? 
> 
> _ Hermione groaned, falling back onto the bed and burying her face into the pillow. She absolutely did not find Professor Snape attractive. She ignored the throbbing between her legs. _
> 
> * * *

> _ The first day of classes came only a few days later and Hermione had all but forgotten about Professor Snape. Except when she inadvertently stared a little too long at him during dinner the night before and Ginny had to call her name twice before she turned her attention back to her friends. No, she did not think about Snape at all.  _
> 
> _ She stepped into the Defense Against the Dark Arts classroom, taking a seat near the front. The fact that Professor Snape was now teaching this class was not far from Hermione’s mind, but she pretended she didn’t care. It was a good thing she’d read over the book beforehand because suddenly, he was all she could look at. She didn’t  _ mean _ to stare, but, as her eyes raked down the length of his body, she realized just how well his frock coat clung to his arms. Professor Snape really didn’t have that bad of a body, honestly.  _
> 
> No, stop!  _ Hermione chastised herself and forced her eyes downward to focus on her text. Sure, she took the time to actually study him for the first time since she entered his classroom at 11 years old, but admiring his body? Still, Hermione had never noticed before how put together he looked, despite the rumors. She found herself wondering what his hair would feel like between her fingers and cursed herself again.  _ What was wrong with her? 
> 
> _ Snape placed his hand on her desk as he walked past mid lecture, catching her by surprise. His hands were a bit worn from years of potions work, but soft and inviting. Elegant, almost. She couldn’t imagine anyone being disappointed with them.  _
> 
> _ “Miss Granger, I get the feeling you are not listening to a word I’m saying.” He drawled, meeting her eyes briefly and she bit her lip. _ Had he always had such expressive eyes? 
> 
> _ “No sir. I mean, I am listening.” She sucked in a breath and willed herself to calm down. It was only what the boys had said, nothing more. She could never actually be attracted to her professor….could she? Professor Snape had already moved on but that didn’t matter. She already felt warm with embarrassment. There was no way there wasn’t anyone who hadn’t found Professor Snape attractive. So what? She’d proven her point to the boys, to herself really, but that didn’t mean she had to look at him that way. He was still her professor after all.  _
> 
> _ She forced herself to focus on the task at hand, and studied the book in front of her. Hermione wondered if he really was a terrible lover as Ron predicted. She supposed he couldn’t be all that bad with hands like those. She could imagine how attentive he would be, simply by watching the careful way he wielded the knife in her previous potions classes.  _
> 
> _ Hermione hummed in frustration. She closed her eyes and took a deep breath and counted to ten. She had to start over when he stalked past her and his robes swirled against her ankles, just briefly. When she finally opened her eyes, she really did feel so much better.  _
> 
> _ But that night, Hermione couldn’t sleep. Staring up at the ceiling, her mind was free to wander and no matter how hard she tried to guide her thoughts to anything but, Professor Snape was at the forefront. Hermione certainly didn’t purposefully think of Snape or how he smelled like smoke and sage. She also didn’t spend a good 5 minutes thinking about his  _ hands. _ A vision of his robes billowing behind him, wand clutched in his fist as he stalked down the hall definitely did not have Hermione gasping her hips bucking up to meet her hand. And she really didn’t know when she’d started stroking herself through her knickers. She certainly wasn’t wet for Professor Snape, it was only that it had been so long since she’d been touched.  _
> 
> _ When she came, the fact that she whispered, Severus, into the dark, was a fact Hermione simply ignored.  _

* * *

**August 2000 - Present day**

Hermione furiously wiped the tears from her cheeks, resisting the urge to scream back at Severus through the door like a child throwing a tantrum. Instead she spun on her heel, stalking back toward her own rooms. How often had she ever heard him curse? He was angry. At least, she finally had gotten him to talk about what happened. He refused to speak about it and Hermione didn’t know how to bring it up. He was clearly still struggling, despite her attempts to make him feel he deserved to live. 

She slammed the door shut behind her, sinking down onto her chair with a long sigh. He was  _ wrong.  _ She didn’t save Severus’ life to be noble or brave. She saved his life because she knew his was worth saving. She acted impulsively after Harry took his tears. She took a chance, such a risky chance, that he was truly on their side. Maybe part of her was acting on her growing attraction for her professor, but Hermione couldn’t bear to see him die like that. 

Her own thoughts and memories plagued her of that night. That  _ war _ . After so many losses, Hermione didn’t know where to turn. Everything  _ hurt.  _ Severus was on the forefront of her mind and she grieved for him alone, assuming the worst. She really couldn’t share her feelings with Minerva or even Pomona. She remembered seeing him for the first time after, unconscious on the hospital bed and how she’d instantly dropped to the floor in tears. Minerva held her while she cried, despite not knowing anything of her situation. He was there for 9 months and Hermione was there nearly every day. Minerva sat with her sometimes. Pomona stopped by many times, eyes brimmed with tears. Hermione believed most of the Hogwarts staff came by at sometime or another. It was true when Hermione told him he was missed. Minerva never asked her connection to Severus and Hermione wouldn’t have known what to say if she had. There wasn’t one, but Hermione was glad he survived. 

Hermione awoke sometime later, not realizing she had fallen asleep in her chair. She sniffed, rubbing her eyes and looked around her room. She dressed slowly, not quite feeling like breakfast that morning. Although most of the staff would be working on preparing for classes to start next Monday, Hermione had very little to do. Despite her focus on Severus, she spent copious amounts of time working on her curriculum. In fact, there were many times in the past summer she took her work to his house, working side by side at his kitchen table. 

_ Severus.  _

And so it began, he was on her mind again. Hermione sighed and gathered her papers intending to spend her day in the library. Their encounter last night left Hermione feeling frustrated. This wasn’t a new feeling when it came to Severus, but it certainly hadn’t been common in the last two years. She often felt concern, sorrow, and disappointment for the man, but those conversations they’d had recently were never to this extent. Hermione wondered when they’d finally give into the inevitable argument and she had always had a feeling it would come when they finally discussed the past. 

Hermione busied herself in the library that day, missing lunch entirely in favor of hiding between the stacks. She wasn’t working on anything particular and she knew her classroom probably needed a bit of tidying up, but she needed this distraction. She needed him out of her head. 

Hermione knew that most of their visits included her speaking more than he ever did, but she always thought he needed a friend. She was selfish to think that he would ever think of her in any way but a student or perhaps her colleague. It wasn’t even so obvious now that he would see her as a friend. Hermione told herself that she would stop visiting Severus when he made it clear that he did not want her there. Severus didn’t seem to mind her visits, even prepared  _ tea  _ for her. How he could suggest that they were  _ nothing  _ to each other was...was impossible. Severus meant a great deal to her. 

Hermione spent the entire day in the library, attempting to avoid Severus at all costs. He’d finally made it clear he did not want her around, despite what happened between them in last night’s staff meeting, and she was determined to give him what he wanted. Hermione knew he did not see her the way he saw him, but she would settle for being his friend. She just hated seeing him so alone. Part of Hermione wanted him to look for her. She wanted him to finally seek  _ her  _ out, to ask for her attention.

She felt pathetic. 

She sprawled out on the floor, grateful for an empty library, she leaned back against the shelves. Busying herself with advanced transfiguration theories, writing notes on piles of parchments and forcing herself to focus, she ignored her growling stomach. 

“Hermione.” 

She nearly jumped out of her skin, fumbling for her wand under the piles of paperwork and books. His low chuckle had her frowning and lowering her wand. It was only Severus.

“I’m quite busy, you know. You shouldn’t sneak up on people like that.” she scolded, tossing her wand aside and looked back down at her pile. Hermione let out a sigh; She’d made a huge mess. 

“Busy doing what, exactly?” he asked smoothly. She expected him to be angry or at least sound guarded and more like the Professor Snape she’d known before. But he was just...Severus. Hermione glanced up at him. Typical Snape uniform, the frock coat and everything. She rolled her eyes at him.  _ He may not sound like Professor Snape but he looked like him.  _

“Studying.” she answered, heart pounding in her chest. After that dramatic exit the night before, she’d merely expected him to retreat back into himself and avoid her completely. Severus was good at pretending nothing was bothering him - she knew after spending so much time around him watching him do just that. 

“Studying?” Severus snorted, eyeing her papers. “Granger, it looks like you’ve got every Transfiguration book in the library open beside you.” 

That comment dug into Hermione’s side like a pesky thorn.  _ He came here looking for her, and all he can do is make judgements?  _ Hermione was hungry, tired, and overly concerned for the very man in front of her who, as it turned out, was an ungrateful arse. 

“Yes, studying.” She snapped, gathering up her papers. “You can’t possibly be surprised at my studying habits, Professor Snape.” 

“I’m aware of your studying habits, Hermione.” Severus seemed to hesitate before he knelt down to help clean up. “You missed breakfast and lunch and are about to miss dinner.” he said quietly, stacking the scattered books up one by one, not meeting her eyes. 

“Maybe I had things to do. I don’t know why you bothered, Severus, I don’t believe you mean anything to me.” 

At that he opened and closed his mouth a few times, at loss for words. Hermione seemed to have rendered him speechless.  _ Serves him right. _

“You had no right to stay there that night. Or any night after.” he sneered, capping her ink and gathering her quill for her.

His words said one thing and his actions said another. Hermione considered the situation they were in. He sought  _ her _ out and now he was berating her as if she was the one who wouldn’t leave  _ him _ alone. Of course...she was the one who’d snapped at him first. Hermione reminded herself of everything she knew of Severus before the war and what she had learned after. He wasn’t ungrateful, just struggling with continuing his life after. She only wanted him to know he wasn’t alone and that someone would miss him if he was gone. She did not regret saving him, but Hermione now knew he didn’t want to be saved. She just didn’t understand why. 

“No.” she said softly, standing up. It was odd to be towering over him for once. He looked up at her, features unguarded for just a moment before he settled into a look of indifference. In that moment, Hermione realized he looked forlorn. “I couldn’t watch you... _ Severus... _ ” her voice broke, a tear slipping out. At times, her emotions got to be too much and it took everything she could do to stop them. He had no idea what that night did to  _ her _ . Watching anyone die was hard enough. So many others lost their lives that day and  _ he  _ was the only one she could save. No one else was coming back. Perhaps she held on a bit too tightly after that. Maybe she got too close and her growing feelings for the man had clouded her judgement. 

Severus swallowed and stood up, handing her the stack of books. He looked at Hermione carefully, almost like he was unsure of how to proceed. Certainly she wasn’t the only person he’d ever made cry in his life, so why did he seem so hesitant? She almost wished he would snap at her and send her on her way. That was what the Professor Snape she knew before the war would have done. Post war Severus...she wasn’t so sure. 

“You did not have to watch. I did my duty and it was my time.” He stepped into her space and carefully brushed his thumb over her cheek to wipe away the stray tear. She fought the urge to lean into his touch. “I do not know what you believe me to be, but I am nothing more than your former professor and as of yesterday, your colleague.” 

She studied him for a moment. She wanted him to talk to her, to share his doubts and worries. But that was simply too much to ask from someone who constantly did his best to keep his distance. Someone who clearly would never look at him the way she wanted him to. “I don’t believe you to be anything, Severus. I  _ know  _ you did not deserve the fate you were given. Maybe you believe I shouldn’t have done what I did, but I did it. And I don’t regret my choice.” 

She gave a heavy sigh and backed away from him. His hand dropped to his side, face unreadable. Hermione wanted more. She wanted to say more and hear more from him. She wanted more of his touch. It was not possible, not from him. Even so, she would never,  _ ever _ regret saving the life of Severus Snape. She shook her head sadly and dropped her books on the counter for Madam Pince with an apologetic smile before she left him there alone in the library. 

She went to dinner after much debate, deciding that hiding from the Potions Master was childish. She’d said what she needed to say, despite wishing she could share more, and she had to let him process in his own time and stop bringing it up. She told herself that she would be okay. He didn’t have to give her anything in return, no matter how much she wanted him to. He was still fighting his own inner battle that Hermione was not privy to and clearly he did not want her to be. 

She sat by him. Hermione couldn’t help it. Despite everything they’d been through, she still cared deeply for that man. There was not really a definite time in which Hermione began to see him as simply her attractive Potions professor to a man she felt so strongly for, but she figured it was around the time he’d met her eyes upon waking from the coma. 

She felt selfish. Like she’d saved him so she could be with him. Her heart yearned for him, the broken man who sat beside her, who she simply wished would see himself as she saw him.


	4. We'll cast some light and you'll be alright

**Chapter Three: We'll cast some light and you'll be alright**

**(Title from** **_Crosses_ ** **Jose Gonzalez)**

_ She didn’t regret her choice.  _

But why? 

Severus lay awake that night pondering that thought. He knew he was perhaps being too hard on himself; she’d saved him and continued to reach out to him every chance she got and here he was pushing her away again and again. Any normal man would relish in her attention but Severus only beat himself up about it. 

Rolling to his side, he closed his eyes. Was she only attached to Severus because she’d saved his life? Or rather, was he attached to her for the same reason? And who's to say she liked him as anything more than a friend anyway? She had made no indication that she would see him otherwise. Severus didn’t have anything to worry about - he did not attract the romantic attention of his former student, he simply made an unlikely friend in a young woman who decided he deserved to survive and he clung to her like a lifeline. He felt at a loss. 

He did not want to admit he’d grown to enjoy her company. Their weekly tea in Spinner's End was the only thing that kept him grounded after he’d been released from the hospital. He hated that, relying on others, especially someone who could only turn out to be temporary. Why did it have to be her? If she knew who he really was, even if she stopped to remember anything about her years in his classroom, she would not be so interested anymore. Her judgement was simply clouded. By what, Severus did not know.

* * *

The next morning after breakfast, she found him in his classroom, grumbling over the state of his lab. “Fuck!” he seethed, sweeping his hand over the countertop and sending vials and jars crashing to the floor. Everything was in the wrong place, his stores mismanaged and ingredients expired. “That imperius, insolent, imbecile!” A hand raked a hand through his hair, gripping his wand against the table he’d just cleared. 

“Such a clever use of alliteration, Severus.” Hermione smirked from the doorway. He met her eyes with a glare, breathing heavily. She always seemed to find him. That woman barely knew him; she knew only what she could discern from months of sitting at his bedside or talking his ear off in his kitchen. And yet it was like she knew him perfectly. It was all too confusing.

“Yes, Professor Snape has eloquent language abilities. I’ll be publishing a book of poetry next year.” He scoffed, shoving off the table to stalk across the room. He stared at the state of his precious lab and let out an exacerbated snarl. 

It was Tuesday, Severus had lessons to prepare and multiple syllabi to finish, and now he had to add a complete overhaul of his potions lab and stores to his list. Hermione Granger was  _ not  _ making his day any easier. Friend or not. 

“I can’t wait to read it.” Hermione shook her head amusedly and cleaned up his angry outburst with a flick of her wand. “Any particular reason you’re destroying your lab in a fit of rage?”

“I take great pleasure in destroying things in anger.” He bit out, gripping his wand hard at his side. “You coming in here and cleaning it up is not helping. Why are you here?” 

“I had a suspicion you wouldn’t be too happy when you saw the state of your potions lab.” She said wryly, making a step toward him. He backed himself into a countertop and huffed out a heavy breath. He wished she would leave, let him be angry in peace. 

“Obviously.” He gestured to the room, half of which was ruined by his own actions and the rest...well, Slughorn really had no idea what he was doing where potions were concerned, did he? “If you came here to convince me that I deserved to be saved, today is  _ not  _ the day. Your fault, Granger,” He gestured his hand dramatically toward her, “for making me have to put up with this - '' he grumbled, gesturing wildly around the lab.

Hermione stifled a giggle and Severus huffed out again. This was  _ not  _ funny. 

“Severus…” She gasped out, letting a laugh escape her. She was laughing at him. Hermione was  _ laughing  _ at the state of his lab and...it was too much to assume he could have one friend. “It is my fault, isn’t?” He must have given her quite the look because then she was holding out her hand to him. “Severus...come here.” 

He stayed where he was and grumbled incoherently. What did she want from him anyway? Hermione sighed, stepping toward him. “You’re not as vicious as you think you are, you know that? Especially when you’re making jokes about your own near death experience.” 

Severus felt his tension start to drain away and she tugged his wand from his hand. He released his grip. He wanted to be angry, he wanted to go back to destroying his lab and shouting insults Slughorn would never hear. Why did she have to come in here and  _ fix  _ everything?

“That was not meant to be funny. I could have gone on blissfully unaware of the state of my lab if it wasn’t for you.” 

She smiled and turned away, setting his wand on the counter before busying herself with sorting through his stores. He watched her for a moment and went to work on his countertops. They worked together in silence for a while with nothing but the sound of clinking jars between them. This wasn’t how Severus planned to spend his morning, but he wouldn’t change anything. They fell back into an old routine similar to their weekly tea, only as it turned out, Hermione was content to work quietly until Severus spoke first. 

“It seems I wasn’t the only one expecting I would not make it past the final battle.” Severus sneered, tossing aside another ruined cauldron.

Hermione snorted from the corner causing Severus to grin. It was only a moment before he heard a muffled, “I don’t know, looks to me he just ignored basic lab maintenance in favor of hosting parties after hours with his students.” 

Severus chuckled loudly and she joined him. “Always was an awful housekeeper. I suppose I can be thankful I won’t be spending an entire year catching everyone up.

“Such kind words for someone you just called an‘ imperius, insolent, imbecile’ only an hour ago.” Hermione teased and he turned around to face her with an eyebrow raised. The things he said in anger could never get past Hermione, it appeared. It also appeared that she was not afraid to tease him about it. 

“Still an insufferable know-it-all I see.” he drawled with a slight smile. She responded in kind with a mischievous smirk and sent a harmless stinging hex across the lab. He moved quickly out of the way, collecting his wand from the countertop and pointing it back at her, “Do you really want to start a duel with me, Hermione?” 

“What, afraid I’ll beat you, Severus?” they glared at each other from across the room, neither breaking eye contact or making the first move. Hermione was the first to cave, biting back laughter and dropping her arm. He pocketed his wand, snorting with laughter. This was the most fun he’d had since...well, in a very long time. Severus had to admit, it was nice to have a friend. 

They worked straight through lunch, flinging good-natured insults and sarcastic comments back and forth while they reorganized his potions lab. Hermione had made a list of new ingredients to acquire to stock his shelves and he’d taken stock of all his equipment, putting it all away in it’s correct locations. It was nearly dinner when they finally finished. Severus could bet things would have gotten done a lot quicker if they hadn’t been so distracted. 

* * *

The rest of the week flew by and Severus slowly started to come around to her presence. Of course ever since he’d opened his eyes after the war, Severus was accustomed to her company. When she wasn’t around after lunch on the Friday the students were set to arrive, he visited Pomona Sprout in the greenhouse. 

Pomona smiled warmly when he entered, ushering him in happily, “Severus.” she beamed, eloping him in a long hug. He awkwardly placed his hands around the short woman, not much for hugging usually. She pulled away, holding him out in front of her. “Look at you, dear.”

Severus found himself to be smiling and she patted his arm endearingly. He had to admit, Pomona was someone in the castle he had a soft spot for. Perhaps it was the fact that she was the head of Hufflepuff that had him feeling at ease, or perhaps her warm and inviting smile. She studied him for a long moment, eyes twinkling, “It’s good to see you, up and about.” 

Severus went to sit on a wooden crate in the corner and nodded. “Was I supposed to be in bed?” he smirked, watching her shake her head with a smile as she reached for a watering can. 

“You know that’s not what I meant, Severus.” she laughed lightly and turned back to her plants. He watched as she carefully watered them with care and murmured softly to a few of them. Severus smiled. Pomona was one of those witches that he couldn’t hate no matter how hard he tried. Pomona and her greenhouse had become a source of comfort at some point in the last few years leading up the war and he found that talking to her in difficult situations always seemed to make things a little easier to handle. Of course, Severus did not always want to hear what she had to say but his attitude had never been a match for her. 

It hurt when their relationship had been destroyed when he killed Albus, an extreme act of disloyalty. Severus couldn’t say he blamed her; Loyalty was a trait Hufflepuffs held near and dear and Pomona Sprout? She was loyal through and through. He didn’t have time to mourn the loss of his friendships at that time, pushing those distraught feelings deeper and deeper down into himself until he hid them completely. It was only after he’d awakened after the war that he realized just how much he hurt the only people he could call family. Some chose to call it an act of bravery or heroic to do so much to save the wizarding world. Severus wasn’t so sure about that - the dark mark still permanently displayed on his forearm would beg to differ. 

“You’ve got quite the witch there, dear.” Pomona commented, tossing a smile in his direction. 

“I have no idea to whom you’re referring to.” Severus very well knew who she was referring to. He could feign innocence all he wanted, but unfortunately Pomona knew him better than that.

“She’d sat by your bedside every day, you know?” Pomona continued as if she hadn’t heard him. She was good at that. “Quite loyal that one, can’t imagine why.” she mused with a twinkle in her eye.

“What do you mean by that!” he leapt up from the crate he was perched on, glaring at the old witch going about her business as if Severus had not just made such a scene. How did nothing he did phase her anymore? 

“Severus...I’ve taught you since you were 12 and worked alongside you for many years. After the war, I don’t think you could surprise me anymore.” Pomona laughed as if she knew exactly what he was thinking and dug into the pocket of her dirty robes for an extra trowel. She handed it to him from across the raised plant bed he’d inadvertently ended up in front of with a nod. “If you’re going to stand there, the least you could do is make yourself useful. As I was saying, that young woman was a student not two years prior. I can only deduce this thing between the two of you started before the final battle.” 

Severus blanked, the trowel in his hand clattering to the floor. He blushed. “I...absolutely not!” he sputtered.

She turned to him and wiped her hands on her robes. “Whenever it started then, she’s thoroughly taken with you. ” she smiled and he glared at her. 

“She’s not.” he huffed, bending to pick up the trowel. He avoided her eyes and dug carefully into the soil in front of him. “She only feels like she has a responsibility to spend time with what she deems a sad, lonely man.” he growled. 

“ _ Are _ you a sad, lonely man, Severus?” Pomona dropped her gardening tools and came closer to the Potions Master. 

“I like to be alone,” he said quietly. A lie, if he was being honest. Nobody  _ liked _ to be alone, not all the time anyway. Severus settled into a life of solitude many years ago, assuming he really did not need to bring anyone else into his mess of a life. The few friends he had were kept at arm’s length for the most part, but Pomona and Minerva were two that wormed their way in and set up camp in his heart. 

“No one likes to be alone, dear.” Pomona said quietly, resting a hand softly on his shoulder. “You are allowed to get close to her, there is nothing wrong with enjoying her company.”

“Who says I want to?” he asked wryly, finally meeting Pomona’s eyes.

“I was in that meeting on Sunday.” she smirked, patting his arm affectionately. “You looked perfectly happy to enjoy Hermione’s company.” 

Severus blushed again, setting down the trowel on the workbench. “No, Pomona, that wasn’t…” he stuttered, backing away from the Herbology professor. “Oh, sod off!” 

With a bat of his hand, he turned toward the door to make his escape. He could hear her laugh as he opened the door to stalk away, “If you’re shagging her, it wouldn’t make a bit of difference to me!” 

_ That woman _ .


	5. Don't Get Too Close

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> Another chapter to give you all another taste. This one's a bit smaller than I would like, but it's a buildup for the next chapters. 
> 
> Happy Reading,   
> Caboose

**Chapter Four: Don't Get Too Close**

After the Potions lab incident, Severus seemed at the very least, less angry about her coming around. It was almost as if he’d given up the fight to keep her away, but still wary of her presence. Hermione still didn’t understand why he was so intent on keeping her at a safe distance. Perhaps she’d been coming on too strong and making things too obvious. Then again, how would she have made anything obvious regarding her feelings when it was a fight to even allow her to be near him. Besides, she’d honestly only been reaching out to him as a friend. He was an arse, a big git. She should just cut her losses and go back to staying a safe distance away and rubbing one out to him in secret. She should know by now that seducing Severus Snape was never going to happen and even being his friend at times was a bit of a challenge in and of itself. 

Hermione arrived at the weekly staff meeting before Severus, snagging the same seat as the week prior. It may have been a risk to sit there, but it was clear Severus was coming around to the idea of friendship. Severus looked a bit surprised to see her sitting there again, but said nothing as he made his way to the back of the room and sat down next to her. 

“I see you’ve infiltrated my personal space again, Granger.” Severus greeted. Hermione could see his eyes held no malice and she smiled softly at the man beside her. Things were changing. Perhaps he’d finally gave in to her attempt at friendship.

“I just thought sitting with you was a safe bet. Better than sitting with Ivy Gnats.” she murmured, eyeing the woman in front of them wearily. Hermione had heard about her, but had yet to speak with Ivy herself. She was quite intelligent, she’d heard, and was the Muggle Studies professor. Professor Gnats was a muggleborn, not unlike Hermione, but that was where their differences ended. While Hermione’s curls were big and nearly impossible to manage, Ivy’s fell gracefully down her back in a tumble of shining ginger. Her green eyes were sharp and Hermione’s were a bland brown. She looked so much like Harry’s mum, Lily. It made her self-conscious. 

Professor Gnats sat only a few feet away next to Pomona, who was nodding with a smile at whatever she said. Hermione scowled, she was _so_ perfect. 

Severus snorted, “She’s not perfect, Hermione, just a pompous chit.” Hermione blushed, she hadn’t realized she said that aloud.

Hermione didn’t have a chance to respond before Minerva called the meeting to order. “There are only a few things to bring to attention this evening, however, first and foremost I would like to bring Professors Granger and Snape to our attention.” Minerva gave them both a look that felt like she was staring into her soul and Hermione had to duck her head. “Skiving off staff meetings will not be tolerated. Don’t think I don’t know everything that goes on at this school. I expect better of both of you, do I make myself clear?” 

“Perfectly.” Severus’ voice was smooth and unaffected but Hermione could only nod. Minerva continued on with the meeting, but Ivy turned in her seat to give her a pitiful look. Hermione raised her eyebrow in contempt, sitting back in her seat and crossing her arms. “ _As if Little Miss Perfect hasn’t broken a rule a day in her life.”_ Hermione sneered under her breath. Severus elbowed her, hard. “Ouch!” 

Severus glared in her direction and she rubbed her side with a frown. “No doubt she hasn’t but this is not the place.” 

“Says Severus Snape, the Prince of Disdain.” Hermione whispered, matching his glare.

“Half-Blood Prince, actually. I thought you knew my title.” He smirked. Hermione rolled her eyes at him. Before any of this between them, she would have never believed Professor Snape to be cracking jokes with her in the back of the Headmistress’ office. Now, it was expected. She gave him a grin of her own. 

“Half-Blood Prince of Disdain then.”

“Exactly. And it would do you well to remember that.” he sneered rather playfully. Hermione’s heart fluttered in her chest. This may not be who she imagined Severus Snape to be outside of the classroom, but who she was discovering him to be was so much better. 

The staff meeting in total only ran about a half hour, Minerva wrapping up by passing out the assignments for rounds with a flick of her wand. Hermione took one look at hers and gaped. 

_Prof. Severus Snape/Prof. Hermione Granger_

Severus snorted beside her. “Minerva is at it again.” 

“Let me see that!” she whirled and snatched his paper from his hands. The same was written at the top of his, in Minerva’s handwriting: 

_Do not make me regret my decision_

* * *

“I always check Gryffindor Tower first.” Hermione said as they walked along the corridors. Ten minutes past curfew, Severus had met her here at the entrance of the Great Hall, still wearing his teaching robes. Severus seemed quite reluctant to join her on their first night of patrol, but Hermione knew with time he would loosen up. It was obvious during her time as a student that Severus thoroughly enjoyed catching students out of bed and creating mischief. Hermione honestly couldn’t wait to see how the night would go. 

He stayed quiet and she knew it was in his nature so she didn’t push it. Severus could have plenty to say when he wanted to. He carried his wand in his right hand and she walked alongside on his left side, keeping up with his brisk pace; He certainly could walk fast. 

“I am not in the slightest surprised you check on your own house first.” Severus sneered and she shrugged. “Perhaps we shake it up a bit. Those _legendary_ Gryffindor parties won’t start until we’ve made our round. They’ll expect us first.” 

Severus had a point. It was often when she was a student that the Gryffindor house waited until after the professors had checked their corridor before feeling safe to start any party of sorts. “So you’re saying they’ve memorized my routes?”

“That is precisely what I am saying.” 

Hermione sighed, nudging Severus around a corner, leading him away from Gryffindor Tower. He smirked at her. He knew he was right and he was gloating. Severus took the lead, heading to Ravenclaw first. They walked in silence again, Hermione keeping her eyes peeled and her ears open for the smallest of sounds. It was near the Charms classroom where they found their first miscreant. Severus stopped abruptly, holding his arm out to keep her from going any further. 

“Listen.” he drawled, eyes going to a dark corner. A quiet whimper came from the shadows. It was almost like they _wanted_ to get caught. Hermione made the first move. Perhaps it was to prove to Severus how well she could do her job, but she cast a stern “Lumos,” pointing her wand directly in front of her. Her face fell when she realized it was only one fifth year, Maggie Pines. Her back was pressed against the wall, knees brought to her chest, crying. Severus stepped up beside Hermione, crossing his arms and glaring down at the young girl. 

“Are you aware of the curfew, Miss Pines?” Severus sneered. Maggie sniffled, nodding her head. Hermione jabbed him with her elbow, crouching down to look at the young girl. She wasn’t so sure Severus was well-fit for this sort of thing. 

“Miss Pines…” Hermione started, lowering her wand. The girl looked not only frightened, but rather upset. “Whatever is the matter?” 

Maggie sniffed again, looking up at Professor Snape wearily. Hermione heard Severus sigh, his robes shifting. She glanced up, realizing he’d dropped his arms and his face was no longer sneering. “Tell Professor Granger and I what happened.” He said sternly. Hermione recognized his tone held less bite than she ever got as a student from him. Perhaps he wasn’t as bad at this as she thought he was. He was no longer sneering anyway.

“Professor...I’m sorry.” she whispered, her face red and brimming with more tears. Maggie looked down, refusing to look at Snape. Hermione furrowed her brows and sat back on her knees. It was as if she was apologizing to Professor Snape specifically and she wasn’t sure why. Perhaps she was a bit frightened by him; Hermione knew she certainly had been a time or two. Severus lowered himself to a squat, concern written on his face. 

“What. Happened.” he asked again. Hermione touched Severus’ arm gently, attempting to calm him. Although he was no longer glaring daggers at the young witch, Hermione still wasn’t so sure he was good at taking care of such delicate situations. “We cannot help you if you do not speak.” This time, his voice was milder and Maggie looked up at the Potions professor. Hermione nodded encouragingly and they heard her take a shuddering breath. 

“Edward...h-he...Professor, I’m _scared_ .” Maggie whimpered. Edward Sands, she knew he’d been spending an awful lot of time with Maggie during the previous year. He was a Slytherin, which explained how Severus had anything to do with the situation. He was Edward’s head of house, and therefore under his care. Hermione looked back at Severus, who looked very puzzled. They weren’t sure which of them she was speaking to, but both professors nodded, urging her to go on. “I never should have…it was such an awful idea but it w-was supposed to be _fun.”_

“What was, Maggie?” Hermione asked, reaching out to touch her arm lightly. 

“It wasn’t supposed to...to end up like this.” She sobbed, dropping her head into her arms. Severus sighed heavily. Hermione’s stomach sank. 

“Miss Pines. Did he hurt you?” Severus asked, dropping to his knees. “Tell me what he did.”

Maggie slowly lifted her head, her eyes meeting his. Severus looked incredibly concerned and Hermione wasn’t remotely thinking what Severus was thinking - she was sure of that. Hermione only figured Edward had broken up with her and Severus clearly had assumed the worst. As it turned out, both professors were wrong. 

“N-no. I...I’m pregnant and I told Edward. H-he didn’t care! He just...just called me a slag and insisted it wasn’t his! H-he left me here, he doesn’t care!” Maggie finally cried, turning away from Severus. Hermione tried not to gasp and Severus growled low in his throat.

“Where. Is. He?” He sneered, getting to his feet and drawing his wand from his sleeve. 

“I-I d-don’t know!” Maggie wailed, folding into herself again. Hermione moved to put her arm around her, glaring at her partner. The young girl had made a terrible mistake but there was no reason to make it worse. 

“Insolent swine!” Severus growled, taking a step back. He drew in a deep breath, Hermione watching him wearily from beside the girl. She realized then that Severus was far from angry at Maggie, but instead, at Edward. He held out his hand, intending to help the two of them up. They both looked at his palm for a moment before Maggie took it, letting him help her to her feet. “Come. Professor Granger and I will escort you to your common room.” he turned away, stalking down the hall. Hermione got to her feet and she and Maggie hurried to keep up. “Then we will be tracking down Mister Sands.” 

Once Maggie was deposited safely to her room with instructions to meet with Professor Granger tomorrow to talk about her options, Severus stalked away toward the Slytherin dormitories. 

“Severus…” Hermione rushed to catch up, grabbing at his arm. “Severus, stop!” 

He whirled around to face her, anger in his eyes. Hermione reached a hand up to his face, barely brushing his skin. “We can’t approach Mister Sands like this at nearly 11pm! Breathe.” 

“I don’t see why we can’t.” he frowned, pulling back from her touch. “He does not get special treatment because he is in Slytherin. Not this time.” 

Hermione dropped her hand to her side. “I _know_ , Severus. Just take a moment to breathe. We’re the adults here, remember?”

Severus huffed out a sigh. “He will be sorry.” 

“He will be, we’ll make sure of that. We make a good team.” Hermione can’t help the small grin that played on her lips. Severus did care, quite a lot actually. There was a balance between them, while they were both passionate, Hermione was soft where she needed to be and Severus was stern. 

Severus held her eye contact for a moment in a long pause. He finally sucked in a breath and with a small grin he said, “We do, Granger.” 

She reached out and squeezed his arm. “I know you don’t want to hear it, but you’re a wonderful professor, Severus.” 

Hermione pushed past him, not waiting for his response. She was surprised when she heard nothing but a quiet laugh and his footsteps following closely behind. 

* * *

Two weeks into the new term, Hermione celebrated her birthday on the 19th of September with the staff of Hogwarts. She never really had a birthday party after 11 years old. The boys always celebrated of course. It was nothing big really and Hermione never really minded; she was with the people she loved the most. Tonight, however, the entire staff had gathered for their regular Sunday night meeting and after, Pomona presented a cake. Hermione couldn’t resist her wide smile. Everyone gathered around her and Fillius put a muggle party hat on her head. She laughed and leaned into Minerva when she put her arm around Hermione’s shoulder while the staff sang Happy Birthday to her. 

She was too happy to be embarrassed, when she realized even Severus had sung too. 

* * *

Hermione was already in the settee when he joined the rest of the staff for the last weekly meeting in September. It had become an unwritten rule sometime in the past few weeks that the settee in the far back corner belonged to the Granger-Snape duo. No one dared to sit there, lest they receive a stern glare from Severus. His mouth quirked up in a smile and he made his way to the back of the room to sit next to her. 

“You’re late.” Hermione smiled smugly as he sat down. He glared at her, pulling his robes around him dramatically. 

“I was caught up.” he raised an eyebrow and Hermione shook her head with a smirk. 

“With what? Washing your hair?” 

Severus’ mouth gaped open, “Ha, ha very funny Granger. I noticed your hair is up today, must not have had time to brush it.” he shrugged and turned away. This was normal now, teasing each other like that. Severus wouldn't say he hated it in the slightest, in fact, Hermione and him seemed to be growing rather close lately. Severus bit back a grin, his hair hiding most of his face. Professor Gnats gave him the side-eye and he gave her his own death stare back. She flipped her hair at him, turning back to the front and Severus snorted. She acted like Lily too. Hermione continued to glare at the new professor and he shook his head in amusement. She wasn't fond of the new professor at all, that she had made perfectly clear to him. 

* * *

After the meeting, Severus had wanted nothing more than to retire to his rooms. Hermione walked alongside him, much like they did when they were on rounds together, idly chatting about that night’s meeting. As much as he could admit that he was starting to enjoy her company, he honestly wanted her to leave him alone. 

"Don't you have something else to do rather than follow me around?" Severus sighed, attempting to make his escape. 

“Severus, I don’t think you really understand I’m not going anywhere.” Hermione said suddenly, spinning him around to face her. He looked down, shaking his head.

“Clearly.” He drawled sarcastically. Of course he didn’t understand. Why would she stick around? Colleagues, acquaintances, whatever they were, was all the further it would go. Severus knew the game. _Don’t get too close, lest he trap you under his spell_. 

It wasn't that he was expecting anything more from Hermione. Sure they'd become friends, but Severus wouldn't hold his breath. Especially, would he not entertain the idea of anything romantic - despite those niggling thoughts that assaulted his mind late in the night when he couldn't sleep. Any number of women he’d bedded over the years disappeared as soon as they got their fix. Friendships for the most part were those of convenience, both his and theirs if he was being honest. Severus was abrasive, he knew that. At this point, pushing them away before they got too close was necessary. There were several reasons to push Hermione away. She was so adamant on gaining his trust and friendship, but what did she want from him? 

“Oh would you stop with the sarcasm for just a minute! You’re my friend, whether you like it or not, I mean that.” She snapped.

He gave a great sigh, glaring at her. He did like it, that was the problem. “I don’t know what you want from me.” He growled quietly. 

“I don’t want anything from you, Severus.” Hermione’s voice went soft and Severus felt a bit regretful. He had been a bit of a git. “All I want is for you to get your wand out of your arse!” 

Severus snorted and drew his wand from his pocket, holding it in front of her with a raised eyebrow. “My wand isn’t up my arse.” He fought back a smirk. Sometimes, he just couldn’t help himself. 

“Good!” Hermione chirped, producing a book from her pocket. She held it out to him. “Then you can read this.” 

He looked down at it with a frown. “And what is _this_?” 

“An explanation.” Hermione handed him the book, not waiting for a response before she left him alone in the corridor. Severus watched her go then looked down at the book in his hand. It was not a mere textbook she’d given him, but a journal.


	6. She Was Always There

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> The journal entries were awfully hard to get in there but I was determined to make them fit in, I love how the different font and I didn't want to lose that! Unfortunately, as much as I tried to make it formatted to work on mobile, it doesn't. I apologize and I will try to see what I can do but for now, I suppose one will need to flip their mobile device on its side.... 
> 
> Happy Reading,   
> Caboose

**Chapter Five: She Was Always There**

  



	7. I've Been Alone So Long, I Feel Like I'm On The Run

**Chapter Six: I've Been Alone So Long, I Feel Like I'm On The Run**

**(Title From Cringe - Matt Maeson)**

  
  


The last letter cut out halfway through his name and Severus knows that must have been when he’d woken up. There weren’t any more entries in the book, he checked. Severus stared down at the parchment in his lap and let out a shuddering sigh. It wasn’t just guilt that kept her there, it was him. It wasn’t until he noticed two wet spots on the parchment that Severus realized he was crying.

He sat there for nearly a half hour, processing what he’d read. She really was there the whole time. Every day, it appeared. There were pages upon pages, sharing stories, news, her thoughts and feelings about the war. There were even pages dedicated to academics - her studies, notes from her N.E.W.T classes she wanted to ask him about later, even a few of her own theories. Severus read every single one, not wanting to miss a thing. He wasn’t sure if he could ever give such a thing back. The next best thing would be her own memories of those months. He was overfilled with emotions at that moment. It was overwhelming to realize just how close to death Severus really was and to know someone cried over him and worried over him. 

But it was Hermione. She was his student when she saved her and it seemed as if it were all wrong. He was frustrated in many ways, as if she’d invaded his privacy. She’d seen him _unconscious_ . She was there when they washed his hair or changed his clothes. All done by magic, of course, but still frightening either way that she had seen him at such a vulnerable state. All because she had this _attraction_ to her potions professor 19 years her senior. He felt entirely too conflicted about the entire thing. She didn’t seem to still harbor those feelings for him. And if she did, what did he feel about it? About her?

Severus seemed to understand Hermione more than before, but yet still not at all. 

He knocked on her door a little after 10 to return the book. It was on the way up to her rooms he realized how utterly crazy she sounded in these entries. Of course she wanted to stay at his bedside for him, but was it him or the idea of him?

Hermione opened the door, surprised to see Severus standing there. “You spend months at my bedside hoping to fuck me?” 

“Well, no…” Hermione blushed, “Why don’t you come inside.” 

Severus stepped barely through the door. She closed it behind him, going to sit on the arm of the chair nearest to him. He stared at her, clutching the book to his chest. He wasn’t sure if he was angry or secretly pleased. 

“Shall we revisit the passage in which you refer to saving me as ‘selfish?’” 

“Severus…” Hermione started with a sigh. 

He continued on, “You slept in my bed. You don’t have an inkling of an idea of who I am. You saved me only because you hoped I’d see you as more than a student. Congratulations, you got your wish, _Professor Granger.”_

“I took a huge risk on saving you because I was afraid if I didn’t, no one would!” 

“That’s the way it was meant to be, you foolish girl!” Severus dropped the journal on the side table and threw his hands up in frustration. He was glad to be alive, he really was. But he wasn’t supposed to be. Especially due to a selfish ex-student of his who may or may not care what happens after. He was left to rebuild his life and Severus hated that he’d gotten so used to Hermione’s presence when she could up and leave at any time. And she would. 

“And I was right. I was there...everyday. You’re not the only one suffering after that war.”

“While your friends were too busy burying your loved ones, you were curled up next to your comatose Potions Professor for comfort.” Severus sneered, dropping his hands to his side. Hermione was frowning and he was sure he saw a few tears welling in her eyes. _Fuck_. 

“Who else was there to comfort you after the war? It took three days for Poppy and Pomona to show up. I didn’t want you to be alone, Severus.”

“I was unconscious! How would I have known?”

“I don’t know. I don’t know! I just knew someone had to be there...if you’d woken up...I didn’t want you to be alone.”

Hermione was definitely crying now, just barely. Her hands wiped furiously at her face, brushing away the stray tears. Severus sighed. “I’ve always been alone.”

He stepped toward her, the fight going out of him. He’d made her cry and now Severus couldn’t help but feel worse than he did before. He was frustrated. He was sure her feelings changed since he’d woke, especially her attraction to him. He spent another year pushing her away before finally opening up to a sliver of friendship. He was protecting himself, really. Severus could be a friend, but to be a lover...that was an entirely different story in many ways. One he wasn’t sure she’d ever be willing to navigate. It was too complicated. 

“That’s a lie, Pomona and Minerva would beg to differ.”

Severus didn’t want to admit to himself what he wanted from her. He didn’t _want_ to want anything from her. He sat down next to her on her sofa, “That’s not what I meant.”

“Well then it’s time you stop being alone.”

“I was your professor.”

“You’re not now.” 

She sighed and her hand dropped to his knee. It was a light, friendly touch, really. But it felt strangely intimate. Severus didn’t push her off, despite his better judgement and Hermione gave him a small smile. “It doesn’t matter now. You’re my colleague. And my friend.” 

“It’s not that simple.” Severus finally answered. “I don’t...I don’t understand why you did this. I am not a good person, Hermione.” There was no way to excuse everything he’d done, all for the sake of securing his place at the Dark Lord’s side. Severus did not exactly think he was a good person. Not really where it mattered. Those mistakes he made as a child were ones he would pay for, for the rest of his life. Subconsciously, he rubbed his left arm through the layers.

“Because you deserve to live.” Hermione whispered. She focused her eyes on his arm and her face fell. Severus closed his eyes briefly, allowing his emotions to take over for a moment. 

“There are things about me...things that if you knew I’ve done, perhaps even _you_ would question my loyalties.”

“Severus…” She sighed so softly he almost didn’t hear her. He sucked in a breath and closed his eyes briefly. The two of them were getting to be too close for comfort. She would regret this someday. “You know I saw those memories. I don’t know everything. But I do know that you would not have been risking your safety as much as you did, simply to throw us off course. You’re too good a man for that.” 

“You don’t know the kind of man I am. You only know who I presented myself as in the front of your classroom.” 

“A moody git then?” she asked, squeezing his leg where she still rested her hand. Severus gave a soft chuckle. Just like that, all the tension between them melted away. “You’re more than that.” Hermione insisted. She lifted her hand as if to touch his cheek then seemed to think better of it. She dropped her hand to her lap and Severus placed a hand over her own with a shuddering sigh. 

“Where you’ve gotten that idea, I don’t know.” Severus gave in with a sad smile. 

* * *

Since reading Hermione’s journal entries, Severus had deduced Hermione wasn’t going anywhere. They found they made a great team as far as hall patrol went, they even had earned themselves a nickname, albeit a rather humorous one, Severus oddly didn’t mind it. He and Hermione seemed to have carved out a path of easy friendship, one Severus had given up fighting because he found Hermione to be good company. 

Of course, knowing Hermione wasn’t going anywhere as his friend did not mean if he were to share his growing feelings she would be responsive. A schoolgirl crush did not equate to an adult relationship, especially when one realizes what they think they know about a person versus what they find out. Either way, Severus was sure to be a shite boyfriend; Hermione deserved so much more than that.

The start of October meant the semester’s first Hogsmede visit. Severus was not on call for chaperoning and he had not planned on making the short trek down to the village, instead planning to spend his day reading in his favorite chair. Apparently, Hermione had other plans. 

“Fancy a butterbeer, Severus?” Hermione asked when he opened his door to reveal the Transfiguration professor. 

“Absolutely, if you’re bringing it to me in that chair.” He gestured to where he’d once been sitting, his book on the arm of the chair. 

Hermione laughed, “No, we’re going to The Three Broomsticks, come on.” 

“No, I’m good where I am, thanks.” Severus turned back to his chair, leaving her in the doorway. It was his day off, a relaxing Saturday. He didn’t mind Hermione joining him but Severus did not want to venture too far from his chair. 

“Please? It’ll be fun, my treat.” 

Severus gave her an amused smile, “What is this, a date?” 

“Of course not! I am simply asking a friend out for drinks.” Hermione hadn’t left the doorway and she was clearly not taking no for an answer. To be honest, Severus had a hard time turning her down. 

“I’ll get my coat.” 

The Three Broomsticks was rather busy and already packed with students, but the pair was able to find seats near the back corner. Severus sat across from her and when Madam Rosmerta came to take their order, he was the one to order. This wasn’t a date, but Severus was a gentleman and she was his friend, even when the small voice in the back of his head reminded him what he wanted this to be. He ignored it. 

“I’m sorry to drag you away from your book.” Hermione commented, giving him a smile. Severus nodded, leaning back in his chair. 

“It wasn’t like I had anything else to do other than spend my day relaxing with a good book.” Severus said as their drinks were set in front of them. He took a small sip, looking at Hermione expectantly. 

“Alright,” Hermione said after a few seconds of silence. “What’s your favorite food?”

Severus set down his cup with an inquisitive look. “Sushi, why?”

“Seriously? Sushi?” she asked incredulously. Severus seemed to get that a lot, it was apparently not at all like him to find that particular dish appetizing; it tended to throw a lot of people off. He laughed, his fingers absently playing with the condensation on his cup. 

“What? I spent some time in Japan.” he lied easily, watching her face scrunch into confusion, then her playful scoff as she reached across the table and slapped his arm. He smirked at her, ducking his head. He didn’t know why he did that to her, but it was always funny to see her reaction. 

“You did not!” Hermione giggled, settling back into her seat. “You’ve been teaching at Hogwarts for….what now, 17, 18 years? There’s no possible way you’d gotten over to Japan in that time with…”

She trailed off and he knew exactly what she was going to say. He raised an eyebrow in what he hoped to be a bored expression, though he felt anything but, and reached for his left arm. “Because of this?” He didn’t break eye contact as he unbuttoned the cuff of his shirt. She gasped and put her hand on his to stop him and his lip curled in disgust. “We both know that's what you were going to say.” 

“I suppose yes, I was.” 

“This is exactly why I told you not to get too close.” He sneered, pushing her hand away rather gently. His hands retracted to his stomach in self-consciousness. “It will always be there, Hermione. It will _never_ go away.” 

“I told you, you’re a different man.” she said quietly, sliding her glass closer to her but did not pick it up. Severus shook his head. No matter what she said, this wasn’t something to take lightly. Of course he wasn’t a part of any of that anymore, but he’d always bear the mark of his mistake. And perhaps he was given awards and recognized as some kind of war hero but Severus would always know of the atrocities he’d done and that was enough for him. “It’s true and you know it.” 

Hermione reached a hand out to him, gently pulling his left arm free. She held his hand in hers and he looked up at her through his lashes. “I know your mistakes. I’m not asking for the details, you stubborn man.” 

“Alright.” He said quietly, his fingers twitching in hers. It was strangely intimate and Severus tried to ignore that feeling. It was the first anyone had taken so much time to ensure that he knew they did not care of his past, only his future. It felt good. 

“Okay, so my favorite food is honestly just a good pub burger.” She continued, releasing his hand. He drew back a bit, reaching for his glass for a drink. He felt his tension ebb away with every word she spoke, glad to be in her company. Never would he have thought listening to Hermione Granger speak would be so soothing. 

“Then perhaps we could indulge.” he smiled, raising his hand to call out to Rosmerta. 

The two dined on deliciously greasy pub burgers and chips and drank more than their fair share of butterbeers as the afternoon wore on. Conversation flowed easily; Chips were thrown, laughter rang out over the packed room, and jokes were had, laced between serious conversation and playful banter. When they finally decided to head back hours later, Severus realized it was probably some of the most fun he’d ever had. He was glad Hermione had dragged him out of his room. 

* * *

Despite all of his protests at the start of the school year, Severus seemed almost excited when he met Hermione for their rounds each week. As she’d said the first night, they made a good team and had only gotten better. Hermione was sure Severus was beginning to realize this as well. Severus didn’t have much to say as they walked side by side down the corridor. Unsurprisingly, Hermione had plenty to say. Someone had to fill the silence. 

“My 1st years were truly awful today. You can tell it’s Friday.” 

“Mmhm.” Severus hummed, pointing his lighted wand toward a dark corner revealing nothing out of the ordinary. 

“And yours, Severus? I suppose your classes were just fine?”

“No, they were not. You see why I’m so strict in my classroom now, don’t you?” he smirked a bit to himself, only Hermione caught the slight upturn of his lips. It was becoming a bit easier to see when Severus was truly being an arse and when he was simply teasing. 

“Are you saying I’ve got no control over my classroom? That is far from the truth, I’ll have you know many of my students are above grade level, thank you very much.” 

“Hm, yes.” Severus said. Hermione could hear the amusement in his voice. “But how do you explain such rowdy students when the very same were in mine shortly _after_ yours? Discipline.” 

Hermione’s mouth dropped open and she smacked Severus’ arm, “Discipline? Excuse me!” 

He ducked his head and laughed, leaning away from her. “Alright, perhaps I’m a little more stern than you.” 

“More like terrifying!” Hermione giggled and Severus pushed her into the wall. “Severus Snape, you toad!” 

Hermione could hear his laughter down the hallway as she hustled to catch up. The Potions Master seemed quite the git from afar but in all reality, Hermione found him to be quite entertaining. She loved these nights with Severus and she was sure he enjoyed them as well. Their rounds together were quickly becoming a favorite of hers. She caught up to him, running into his outstretched arm. He raised an eyebrow, barely visible in their low wand light, and smirked. She knew exactly what that meant and she grinned back. 

A sigh echoed in the corridor and Severus tilted his head, listening intently. Hermione followed his line of sight and raised her wand. Severus pulled her forward by her robes to follow him, stalking quickly down the hall and yanking away a tapestry that concealed a small alcove. The occupants pulled apart, gasping in surprise. Hermione crossed her arms while Snape scowled down at the boys. 

“I find it amusing you two continue to believe I am not privy to every hidden nook and cranny in this castle.” he sneered. The two boys Hermione recognized as 6th years were too busy tugging up their pants and buttoning shirts to look at the professor looming over them. It was almost comical to be on the other side of Snape’s sneering; this would never get old, no matter how many times they’d done this. 

“I thought you said Snanger Danger wasn’t on rounds tonight!” Damon Barrows, a Ravenclaw 6th year whispered, smacking his partner in the arm with a glare. The other boy, Orion Lurch frowned, rubbing his arm. 

“Unfortunately for you, we are.” Hermione smirked down at them. “Were you expecting Professor Flitwick?” she scoffed and the boys reddened. Flitwick was a pushover, especially when his own house was concerned. Hermione also happened to know Damon was a favorite of Filius’. 

“Memorizing the staff schedules is not wise, Mr. Barrows.”

“We often substitute.” Hermione finished, biting back a smirk. “10 points from Ravenclaw and Slytherin.” 

Severus snorted, shaking his head at the now fully dressed students. “I suggest you go warn all your little friends, whom we know are hiding about this castle, that _Snanger_ _Danger_ is patrolling.” 

“Yes Sir.” The boys chorused, pushing past the professors and running in separate directions. Hermione rolled her eyes and collapsed against Severus with a laugh. “Snanger Danger...How did you say that with a straight face?” 

“Practice, Miss Granger.”

“Let’s go bust some more miscreants, Professor Snape.” Hermione snickered, holding her arm out to him.

He slid his around hers and grinned. “Gladly.” 

* * *

There came a time during the month of October when Hermione and Severus were rarely seen apart. If one was alone, one could bet the other wasn’t far behind. Severus liked being alone, as he’d said to Pomona so many weeks ago, but she was right. He didn’t _always_ like being left alone. Pomona and Minerva were still very dear friends to him, but Hermione was something else entirely. Severus realized something he’d never thought would happen: Hermione Granger had become his best friend. 

He was eating lunch on a crisp autumn Saturday when a Slytherin green and silver scarf dropped in front of him, followed by a matching pair of mittens and a hat, the kind with long strings off each each flap and a ridiculous yarn ball at the top. Severus looked up with a frown and Hermione’s grin was unmistakable. 

“What do I need this for?” He asked, looking wearily down at the pile of winter gear. 

“Quidditch.” Hermione smiled, pulling her own Gryffindor hat down over her ears. 

“I don’t remember agreeing to this.” Severus shook his head, pushing back his chair. Sure, he was planning on going to the quidditch match, but if she thought he was going to wear _that_...

“You didn’t.” Hermione laughed, “I figured as heads of our respective houses, we could sit together.”

“We’re rivals, Hermione. Have you forgotten who's playing?” Severus snorted, standing up. He shrugged on his wool coat, giving Hermione a pointed look. Hermione frowned. If there was anyone in this castle to get him to do anything, it was Hermione. Sighing, Severus picked up the scarf. 

“Fine.” he said, wrapping it around his neck with a raised eyebrow. 

Hermione shook her head with a laugh, “Hat and gloves too. It’s supposed to get windy.”

Grumbling, Severus picked up the green and silver mittens, shoving them into his pockets. She grinned and he turned away from her, stalking away. Out of her line of vision, Severus grinned. “Let’s go, Granger.” 

Severus and Hermione climbed the stands, finding seats in the upper corner. The game started out strong, Slytherin leading Gryffindor. Severus didn’t mind cheering on his own house with his Gryffindor friend beside him, in fact, he was quite happy to tease her every time his students scored. She laughed along, elbowing him lightly when he got too rowdy. When he was watching his team’s seeker fly past, fighting the young Gryffindor one to the snitch, Hermione had found a way to secure the awful Slytherin striped hat on his head. He scowled, feeling the stupid little puff ball at the top wobble whenever he moved. She laughed gleefully and he swatted her away when she reached across to tie the braided strands hanging off the hat around his neck in a bow. 

“No! Let me be, witch!” he grumbled, leaning away from her. She pouted in a cute, playful way and it was hard to keep a straight face while she leaned over him, hand on his thigh. Finally, he seized her hand in his, stopping her antics immediately with a triumphant smirk. She stuck her tongue out at him like a child and he lost it then. She gave up, settling back in her seat when the Slytherin team scored another goal. He did not let go of her hand, too engrossed in the game. At least, that’s what he would tell himself later. 

Halfway through the match, the wind picked up. Hermione shivered, letting out a long sigh. Severus smirked. “Hat and gloves didn’t save you from the wind, did it?” he teased. He was a bit chilled himself, but he wouldn’t admit it. He'd already pulled on his mittens a while back, fingers getting rather cold.

“Don’t s-say a w-word.” Hermione shivered again. Severus shook his head with a smile, putting his arm around her and tucking her into his side. As Hermione requested, he didn’t say a word. 

She sighed happily, snuggling into his side. They’d grown so close since the war and Severus would even feel safe to call her his best friend. But being here, next to her, sharing body heat? Severus never wanted to let go. 

* * *

When he got home that night, Severus spent a long time looking in the mirror. His hair, his hooked nose, his tired eyes...the list went on and on. There was a reason Lily never wanted him and he knew that it was unlikely anyone else would either. 

He couldn’t get Hermione out of his head. _He liked her_ . She was his best friend, his partner - the other half of Snanger Danger, and he was _falling for her_. He sighed loudly and turned uncomfortably in his bed. She was brilliant - she’d clearly taken his advice from some years ago that not everything could be learned in a book. She was kind and fiercely protective and _bossy_. Severus laughed to himself in the dark. He never realized how bossy Hermione Granger could be until he experienced her presence like he had over the past two years. 

Her eyes, warm and brown and inviting? They hooked Severus in every time. 

He groaned out loud, flopping onto his back. He was torturing himself.


	8. Let’s Treat This Night Like It’ll Happen Again

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> And now the moment we've all been waiting for!   
> This chapter begins the smut, which will be fairly important to the storyline. 
> 
> Please note that from now on, there are explicit mentions of sexual situations. Some of these situations in this chapter may blur the lines of consent, including sex under the influence of alcohol. Take note that yes, both parties were willing, though still both under the influence of alcohol and many may view this situation as non-consenting. 
> 
> ~Caboose

**Chapter Seven: Let’s Treat This Night Like It’ll Happen Again**

**(Title from Bloody Valentine - Machine Gun Kelly)**

**Halloween Night**

Severus would have to admit he had a bit too much to drink, especially in the presence of students. Luckily he was a good actor, for the most part, but both he and Hermione had been laughing a bit too loudly and leaning a bit too closely for someone not to notice. Minerva had definitely noticed how often Hermione and Severus were refilling their goblets during the Halloween Feast, however, there were quite a few other staff members doing the same thing. They’d just refilled again and Severus eyed the room, watching over his table of Slytherins who were cheering on a couple of second years who seemed to be in the middle of some kind of eating contest. He chuckled lowly, elbowing Hermione lightly. “Would it be remiss of me not to break that up?”

“Hmm?” she glanced up, peering curiously in the direction he was looking. “Oh, no...no, they’re just being kids. They’ll suffer the consequences on their own.” 

They laughed together, earning a sharp look from Minerva. Severus opened his mouth, hesitating before he spoke. “Uh, I think….maybe we should retire for the night.” he met Minerva’s eyes and she shook her head at him. 

“I think you two have had enough...alcohol to be deemed unacceptable to be around students.” Minerva replied crisply. Severus would agree, he was starting to feel a bit dizzy. “It’s best you leave. We’ll have a conversation about this in the morning.” 

Severus took that as an excuse to get the hell out of there, holding his hand out to Hermione to take. She graciously accepted, smiling up at him. A few staff members looked curiously at the pair to which Severus sneered at. Everyone knew they were close, his best friend really, so it should come to no surprise they would leave together. Pomona gave Severus a smirk and he frowned, or tried to anyway. It was hard to frown when Hermione was tugging his hand and tripping over her feet. 

They exited the Great Hall as quickly as they could, stumbling over each other a bit in the process. Hermione laughed quietly and Severus yanked on her arm, sneering at the table of gaping Hufflepuffs as they passed.  _ So what, they’d had a little bit too much? _

“Told you, they’re definitely shagging.” an unidentified voice murmured from the table followed by a couple giggles. Severus didn’t bother; they’d heard enough of the rumors about them to last a lifetime.

Severus knew they had been very foolish and unprofessional. Sometimes, he and Hermione were a bit too much of a bad influence on each other. However, now that they were relieved of their duties for the night, there was no harm in enjoying themselves.

He pushed through the door hard, letting it slam behind them. When they were safely in the empty corridor, he turned to his best friend. “Look at me.” he lifted her chin to look at him. She grinned and clutched his arm to keep steady. “We are...so pissed right now.” he said seriously before breaking into laughter. They fell into each other, trying to stay upright. His forehead rested against hers and she had his robes clenched in one fist.

“Minerva’s not happy.” Hermione slurred, tracing a finger on his cheek with another giggle.

Severus snorted, holding her side lightly. “We are very unprofessional right now.” 

“Mmm, fuck being professional.” she breathed, pulling at a strand of his hair as she bit back a smirk. There were a solid five seconds of the two professors staring into each other’s eyes before Hermione was pushed back against the stone wall and she tugged Severus down by his hair to crush her lips to his. He wasted no time pressing himself against her, his tongue battling with hers in a sloppy kiss. She was gasping into his mouth and he let out a quiet moan, his cock stirring in his trousers. There was no time to think about anything other than how much he wanted to take her right there.

Severus rutted hard against her, “Ah...ah  _ fuck _ .” he hissed as Hermione slid her hand between them, wrapping her hand around him through his pants. He slid his hands down her arms to grab her outer robes, pushing the fabric down her shoulders. She whispered his name against his lips with another breathy moan and squeezed her hand just right as she jerked him off through his trousers. “Hermione.” he breathed, in pushing into her hand, “Mmm, yes...Hermi-ahh... _ fuck _ . Alcove.” Severus finally gasped, yanking her off the wall. She fell into him, giggling and he grinned back at her, bringing his lips to meet hers. He pulled her along, finding it extremely hard to keep his hands off her. The alcove under the stairs was close and it didn’t take long before she had him shoved against the wall, unbuttoning his trousers and falling unsteadily to her knees. He dug for his wand, casting ‘Muffliato’ over them before his head fell back onto the stone wall. She was pulling him free, sloppily pushing his trousers down just enough to reveal his cock. It was half a second before she was pressing wet kisses to his head and then her tongue tracing up his length. Now free to make as much noise as possible, Severus let out a groan when she finally took him fully in her mouth. 

“Fuck, where’d you learn to suck cock like that?” he slurred, both hands going to her hair. Fingers dug into her curls and she moaned around him and released him with a pop. Severus moaned again; that was incredibly hot. 

“You don’t...want...to...know.” She said between kisses she peppered down his length, massaging his balls in her palm. He was gasping for breath now and he knew she could make him come like this. Had Severus been thinking, he would be quite ashamed of letting his best friend suck him off in an alcove. But he was not thinking. And fuck, it felt good. 

“We should... _ ah, fuck _ …” She’d taken him into her mouth again, gazing up at him from under her lashes. “Go to the... _ Mmm, fuck Hermione, just like that _ ...Go to the dungeons…” 

She reluctantly pulled back slowly, smirking up at him, “Only if you fuck me.” 

Severus wasted no time yanking up his pants and pulling her off the floor. He ended the muffliato as they stumbled down the corridors toward his rooms, giggling all the while. 

Severus couldn’t remember a time he was so carefree and irresponsible. It felt  _ good _ . Once they reached his private rooms, it was only a matter of minutes before all their clothes had been removed, strewn across his sitting room floor, on the stairs, and lastly, in a heap at the foot of his bed. 

Severus gave her a crooked grin, shoving her back playfully onto his bed. She wasted no time scooting upwards toward his pillows, eyes a combination of playful lust. Severus crawled after her, straddling her legs. His cock brushed her thighs as he leaned over her and she bit her lip. Hermione gazed up at him and Severus thought about how wonderful it was to have such a beautiful witch under him; even if she was his best friend. 

It was sort of funny, wasn’t it? He was about to stick his penis into his best friend and hopefully, make her scream his name. This certainly wasn’t normal behavior for friends and Severus  _ did _ sort of find Hermione incredibly attractive and wonderfully fantastic company, but this was an entirely new level. He blinked down at her, shaking away his muddled thoughts. Thinking was hard when he was drunk. 

“Sev-“ Hermione hiccuped then laughed, gripping his arm tightly. “-erus...this isss a bad idea.” 

Hermione’s words were still slurred and silly and Severus knew he wasn't much better but he laughed anyway. “Yes. Such a bad idea.” He agreed, furrowing his eyebrows at her. “You’re my best friend.” He shifted against her, wondering the best way to get off of her without breaking anything.

“Oh! That’s what best friends do. You take care of me, and I take care of you.” Hermione suddenly exclaimed, giving him a grin. She pulled him down to her, pressing his lips to hers. He can’t help but laugh. “You make me feel good...I wanna make you scream.” 

Severus lowered himself onto her, grinding down on her with purpose. She had a point. This was a best friend thing, really. He took care of her and she took care of him and if that meant sexually then Severus couldn’t turn  _ that  _ down. Not that he wanted to turn her down. 

“I will do my best to take care of you, my dearest friend.” Severus said solemnly, before giggling into her hair. 

“I trust you.” Hermione said, her fingers raking through his hair. Severus moaned, bucking against her. She angled her hips up to meet his and he can hear her breathy moan in his ear. 

It takes a few tries, but Severus is finally able to press himself to her opening. There were too many fumbling hands and sloppy kisses in the process, it’s a wonder they even made it that far. Setting any sort of rhythm was impossible, but Severus snapped his hips to hers anyway as she tried to meet his thrusts. Her legs wrapped around his waist, her hands still in his hair and then, on his waist. Heels dug into his back, pushing him hard into her but Severus wasn’t complaining. He needed more and he was certain she did as well.

“C’mere.” Severus slurred, wrapping his arms around her waist and pulling her into him. She cried out, eyes falling closed. He sits back, nearly losing his balance, and dragged her onto his lap. “Ride me.”

“Yes.” She breathed, sinking down on his cock once more. This time he was the one biting out her name, burying his face in her hair as she rocks against him. He nuzzled her neck, nipping at her skin. She cried out, begging for more and he obliged. He dragged his teeth against her skin, sucking hard on her neck. He knew it would leave a beautiful bruise, one Severus was sure to be proud of. 

“Perfect, just like that.” He whispered. His hands slid down her back, cupping her arse to guide her. “Don’t stop.”

“I don’t...I don’t plan to.” She gasped, leaning back to look at him. She’s absolutely beautiful like this. Severus wasn’t sure what he was so worried about, this was one of the best decisions he’d made by far. Best friends should always fuck, it made everything feel so much better. 

Severus slid an arm around her back to support her as Hermione’s other hand found its way between them, working her fingers over her clit. She made these  _ amazing _ little moans as she rode him and he knew he couldn’t last much longer. 

“Severus.” She gasped. He tipped her backward, her back hitting the bed. She adjusted herself and he held her to him as he fucked into her with abandon. “Mmm….Sssev-ah  _ fuck _ !” she cried out.  He moans low in his throat, gasping for breath. Hermione’s mouth was definitely dirtier when she had been drinking and Severus couldn’t complain, hearing the drawn out ‘fucks’ she was moaning between his name. He was losing control. They were both screaming each other’s names now, his orgasm rapidly approaching.

Her walls pulsed around his cock as she finally reached her climax, his name a whisper on her lips followed but a low moan. Severus couldn’t hold back any longer, and he didn’t need to. He fucked into her with abandon, losing control. It wasn’t long until he was digging his short nails into her side, slowing his thrusts. He rolled his hips hard into hers, letting out a strangled moan as he finally released inside her. 

They lay like that, breathing heavy and staring at each other for a moment, lazy smiles on their faces. 

Severus was shaking and Hermione’s hand was carding through his hair as she stared up at him. It was a near perfect moment.

“Fuck, I’m gonna vomit.” He groaned suddenly, his stomach rolling. Severus sat back on his heels and blindly grabbed for his wand. Hermione’s was closer. She quickly conjured a bucket next to the bed and Severus promptly threw up the contents of his stomach. Drinking and sex did not always mix well. Tonight, it seemed, Severus could not hold his alcohol. 

It was not sexy, not in the slightest. But fuck did Severus feel better. He sat up, grimacing at the woman across from him. His best friend. She giggled. Severus wiped his mouth with a discarded item of clothing, tossing it aside without a care in the world. 

“You’re so fucking amazing, you know that?” Hermione slurred, grabbing at his arm. He obliged, crawling across the bed to her. Severus plucked the wand from her hand and disposed of the bucket and a simple mouthwash spell before setting it gently on the bedside table. He had no idea where his was, but that didn’t matter. He was safe. 

Hermione tugged him down next to her and leaned in for a kiss. It was wonderful and Severus was incredibly tired. They snogged lazily for a while until they were gasping for breath. His lips barely brushed hers as he whispered her name, his hands stilling on her hair. They fell asleep pressed against each other.    
  


* * *

When Hermione woke up, the first thing she noticed was the splitting headache. The second, was that she was very naked, in a bed that wasn’t hers, curled into someone’s side with his arm around her waist. She tried to remember the night before, memory hazy, as she lifted her head to see who her bed partner was. 

Hermione pressed a hand to her mouth to keep from gasping aloud as her memories of the previous night came rushing back to her. 

_ Did she...did they? No!  _

Severus was still sound asleep, his hair sweaty and sticking to his forehead. Hermione couldn’t help but notice how peaceful and absolutely adorable he looked before she panicked. 

_ She slept with her best friend. Severus Snape, her snarky, surprisingly sweet, best friend.  _

_ And she liked it.  _

As quiet as she could, Hermione slid from the bed, searching for her clothes. They were everywhere! At least they had some sense to take good care of their wands, which lay side by side on the side table. Hermione didn’t even remember doing anything with their wands. She grabbed hers, accio’d her clothes and dressed quickly. This was so bad, what would he say? And how did she feel about it? What would Severus think? Oh  _ gods _ , Severus...

Hermione knew she enjoyed it very much, even as drunk and sloppy as they were. Part of her wondered how much better it would have been sober. The other part of her was fleeing the scene and hiding in her rooms until breakfast. The problem wasn’t  _ exactly  _ Severus, but he was also the problem.  _ Of course  _ she liked Severus. He was her best friend. Everything she’d learned about him and everything they’ve grown to be together was something she never wanted to lose. His friendship was more important than anything else. She couldn’t go and ruin it by shagging him! 

It wasn’t as if she hadn’t pictured that exact moment before, brought herself to climax in the comfort of her own bed to the thought of Severus Snape’s  _ hands _ . But that was years ago! She cared so deeply for him now, so much more than she ever had before and of course she wanted him,  _ all  _ of him, but that wasn’t allowed. This thing between them was good, so good, and more than Hermione ever imagined. Their friendship was more than what she’d ever had with Ron and Harry, so why, oh  _ why,  _ did she have to go and ruin it? Hermione didn’t even have an inkling of an idea of what he thought about the situation. She didn’t even give him a chance to tell her and she’d just left her best friend, hungover and probably very confused all alone-

_ Breathe, Hermione!  _

She took a deep, calming breath. Then another one, and another. 

Panicking was  _ not  _ going to help. It was obvious they had to talk about what happened. It couldn’t happen again and it couldn’t ruin their friendship. 

No matter how much Hermione wanted to do it again. 

She was staring at her plate when Severus sat down in her usual spot beside her. It was obvious he wanted to pretend it never happened but he pressed a hand into her side gently, searching for her fingers and pressing a small vial into her hand. Hangover relief. 

She smiled graciously up at him and he nodded. “I know you need it.” He said quietly, picking up his tea. Hermione wasn’t sure how to react, she wanted to talk to him but she wasn’t sure he wanted to. He didn’t say anything either and they spent the rest of breakfast in silence. Perhaps it had already ruined their friendship. 

She caught up to him later in the day after lunch, grabbing his arm to stop him. He spun around with a raised wand then immediately lowered it when he realized who it was. Severus gave a small smile. That was good. He wasn’t angry. 

“We need to talk.” She said, trying to keep her voice even. 

“I have no idea what you’re referring to.” 

Hermione frowned at her best friend. She knew he was playing her and he wasn’t going to get away with it. They had to talk and Hermione was going to make sure they did. They had to fix this. “You know exactly what. I’ll be round yours after dinner.” 

He was left staring after her when she turned on her heel to stalk away. She had a class to teach after all. 

True to her word, Hermione was there after dinner. Minerva had found them after classes for a meeting on their behavior from the night before. Hermione knew they were in the wrong and they both had acted irresponsibly. It was incredibly stupid of them and she was terribly embarrassed of what they’d done  _ after  _ they’d left the Great Hall in the hall and then the alcove where anyone could have seen them. They were lucky Minerva didn’t get a view of Hermione with a mouthful of Snape’s cock. She wished she could get the image out of her head herself, it’d been living there rent free all day. 

Severus didn’t say much, only his promise not to do so again, after Minerva threatened to reassign them both with new partners on rounds. At least he still wanted her around. They did make a pretty good team, both outside and apparently  _ inside  _ the bedroom as well.  _ Gods why couldn’t she get her mind off it? _

Severus finally opened his door and she pushed her way in without invitation, settling herself onto his sofa. He frowned, closing the door behind her. “You wanted to talk, now talk.” he drawled, walking slowly to the sofa. She watched him settle down next to him and cross his arms in a closed off approach. She shook her head, she knew by now not to be scared of him. 

“Last night was - “

“A bad idea.” Severus finished before she could complete the sentence. She nodded in agreement; he was right. It was all a bad idea. The getting drunk around students, snogging outside the great hall, giving him head in the alcove… “It cannot happen again.” 

Hermione blushed, thinking back to the previous night.  _ This is a bad idea, _ she’d said and he’d agreed. Then she had to go off about best friends and taking care of each other. 

“You’re right, it was stupid.” Hermione said, looking down at her hands. Shagging your best friend whilst drunk was always a bad idea. Especially when Hermione wanted nothing more than to do it again. They knew it was stupid but apparently didn’t care. To the drunk versions of themselves, shagging your best friend was just another way you took care of each other. Hermione wished it were that easy. “We should just forget it happened.”

“Absolutely.” Severus agreed. They stared at each other for a moment and something shifted in his eyes. Almost as quickly as the previous night, Severus had her pinned to the couch as she lunged up to meet his lips in a fierce kiss. 

“This isn’t forgetting…” Hermione moaned as his hand slid up her shirt and she wrapped her arms around his torso under his outer robes to urge him closer to her. 

“No.” Severus kissed her hard, his free hand going to clutch the arm of the sofa next to her head for leverage. He ground against her and she felt his erection already hard against her hip. “We have to stop.” 

“We can’t...do this again.” Hermione worked at the button on his trousers. It was much easier sober, she noted. He was so hard for her and she moaned into the kiss. Perhaps it was that easy - best friends helping each other out,  _ taking care  _ of each other. 

“You need to... _ fuck _ ...” He groaned. Hermione had his length in her hand in an instant, stroking him firmly with purpose. He broke the kiss with a hiss, resting his forehead on hers. “ _ Stop _ …” he moaned, rolling his hips against her. 

He fucked into her hand and Hermione knew there was no stopping any of this. She  _ wanted _ him inside her as soon as possible. “I don’t think you want me to stop.” she dropped her other hand to her waist, pushing up her skirt. 

“No.” He growled, free hand yanking her knickers aside and adjusting himself to press against her opening. She reluctantly let go, thoroughly enjoying the weight of his cock in her hand. Hermione bucked her hips up, trying to make contact and Severus grinned down at her. “I don’t want to stop.” he said before pushing himself into her fully. She wrapped her legs around him, raising her hips to meet his as he thrust into her. Their moans mingled in the quiet room and Severus pressed hot kisses to her jawline. Hermione didn’t want him to stop either. 

“Ah-no...Mmm, don’t stop...oh gods don’t stop!” She cried, digging her heels in and pushing him harder into her. 

Severus thrust into her hard, just as she wanted. She relished the feeling of his weight on top of her and his hand gripping the arm of the sofa so hard he’d turned white. Gods, it was hot. If she thought Severus was attractive as his student, good Merlin and Circe he was probably the sexiest Hermione had ever seen him at this moment. He was angled just right, hitting that spot over and  _ over  _ again. She was so close already; it wasn’t like she hadn’t been picturing him over here like this all day. And  _ oh _ , when his hips rolled against hers, grinding himself against her as close as he could get, she swore she saw stars. 

Hermione supposed her favorite thing about shagging Severus was the sounds he made when he was buried deep inside her. There were gasps and muffled moans as if he was trying to keep it all in, until the figurative dam broke and he was bursting with cries of her name and a string of obscenities like a mantra. 

“Ughn, f-fuck.” He moaned, his hips stuttering. “Mmm... _ Hermi-''  _ he broke off with a long moan that had Hermione crying out. 

“ _ Please _ , Severus…” She moaned, her hand moving furiously between them to finally reach that last step to her climax. She felt it building, she was  _ almost  _ there. 

He pushed her hand away, replacing her fingers with the brush of his thumb, circling her clit with purpose. She was just tipping over the edge, her walls clenching deliciously around his cock when he snapped his hips hard into her, rolling his hips up, and  _ gods  _ Severus knows what he’s doing because it's just what she needed. 

“Severus...Sev-Severus...Ohhhh gods yesssss!” Hermione’s voice goes high, her head tipping back against the sofa and Severus’ hand falls from her clit to grip her waist hard, slamming into her again. He fucks into her a few more times, her orgasm waning but gods it still felt amazing to feel him fucking her past her orgasm and through the beginnings of another. 

“Yesssss…” he cried out in his low baritone. “Yes, Hermione…” he moans low, freezing against her, shaking and sweaty. She gazed up at him, chest heaving. 

“Fuck you’re amazing.” Severus breathed hard against her, slowly pulling out. 

“Friends taking care of each other?” She breathed as he collapsed on top of her. 

“You read my mind.” 

* * *

After that night, weekly tea turned into nightly tea and Severus and Hermione found themselves making any excuse they could to get each other out of their clothes. They’d spent nearly every day together already, but it was becoming increasingly obvious how close the two of them really were. 

They were rarely seen apart, and Hermione still treasured Severus as her closest friend. Things could get messy very quickly with this unspoken arrangement and as much as she enjoyed fooling around with Severus, he was her friend first and she hoped to keep it that way, long after he decided he no longer desired her. 

“Hold on, your hair looks…” Hermione reached out to Severus and he gave her an amused grin. 

“Greasy, I know.” He remarked dryly. She reached up and fixed his hair, brushing it back from his face.

“No, you git. I was going to say like you’ve been shagging someone in your office for the past half hour.” 

“I was.” Severus quipped with a smirk, pressing his lips to hers in another kiss. 

“Well if you do so again, we’ll miss dinner.” She scolded playfully when they broke apart. 

He opened the door, holding it open above her head for her to duck under his arm. “Wouldn’t be the first time I’ve skipped a meal, Granger.” 

She heard him murmur the incantations to lock and ward his door under his breath and she smiled, falling into step with him. “Just because you have doesn’t mean you should, Snape. I’ve seen what you eat when you miss a meal.” She teased, bumping his shoulder with her own. 

“And what do you know of my eating habits?” He asked, nudging her back.

“Severus, as much as you’d like them to be, pasties and sweet rolls do not count as a meal.” 

They approached the Great Hall, filling in behind the last of the students yet to take their seats. “Says you.” He laughed quietly, taking his regular seat next to Pomona. Hermione slid in at his other side, between him and Minerva. 

“Oh, I’ve been looking for you.” Pomona said warmly to the Potions Master. 

Hermione still found it ironic that the Head of Hufflepuff considered the Head of Slytherin a close companion, though she couldn’t help but smile when she saw how Pomona spoke to Severus. And he listened. It was such a thing Hermione had never noticed in the years she’d known them until Pomona showed up at St. Mungos. 

“I haven’t seen the two of you all afternoon, what have you been getting up to?” Pomona continued, looking to Hermione. It was an innocent question and Hermione had an innocent answer, even a partly true answer. 

“Grading in Severus’ office.” She replied with a smile. She was getting good at hiding their little trysts throughout the castle, much like Severus did. 

“It must be terribly hot in your office, you both look a bit flushed.” Pomona commented and Hermione scrambled to find a response and she could practically see the wheels turning in Severus’ head. His face flushed deeper than it already was and he dropped his head. His hair would effectively cover his face and Hermione knew by now it was a defense mechanism of his own. “You ought to brush up on your cooling charms, Severus.” 

Pomona’s eyes glittered mischievously and she gave a little wink before patting Severus’ arm affectionately. 

Hermione reached for Severus' and squeezed it under the table. He responded with a tight squeeze back, followed by the brush of his thumb across her knuckles. Maybe she wasn’t as good at this as she thought she was. 

* * *

Since starting their trysts, Severus and Hermione still made time for their friendship. This was the whole point of it anyway, that they kept their friendship over all else? 

That was why the two of them now sat shivering in the stands of the quidditch pitch to watch the last match in November. This time, Severus had enough sense to grab the thick throw he kept at the end of his bed and at last minute, the hat Hermione had gifted him. She had laughed gleefully at the sight of him wearing said hat once more and despite his attempt not to, he smiled. At this point, Severus was sure he’d do anything to make Hermione Granger smile. 

They’d found seats near the top and huddled together for warmth, throwing the blanket over their laps. Severus wasn’t for certain if his arm wrapping automatically around her waist would be construed as a friendly gesture or a romantic one. Severus hoped for the later. It was foolish to come all the way out there to freeze, but Severus  _ did  _ like quidditch and he adored Hermione so if there was a way to combine the two in a situation in which it was allowed to hold her close, he was game. 

“Severus, fancy seeing you here.” Severus sighed heavily at the sight of Ivy Gnats standing directly in his line of sight. She became more and more intolerable, especially since she had taken to following Severus around the castle in an attempt to flirt with him any chance she got. Unfortunately, she did not understand that he was  _ not  _ interested. 

“I am a professor here and I like quidditch. Is there a reason I should not be?” He drawled, glaring at the woman. She was not only blocking his view, but she was testing his temper as well. 

“Well, of course not!” She laughed a great, phony laugh that Severus now recognized as one of her many tactics for seducing him. Gnats sat down next to him, a little too close for comfort. He automatically shifted away. “The two of you were talking up a storm before I came over. What was it that was so fascinating, Sevvy?” 

Her hand dropped to his arm and he pulled it to his chest immediately. “Professor Snape.” He sneered in correction and he felt Hermione’s comforting hand on his inner thigh. 

“Oh no need to be so formal, Severus.” She teased, leaning into him. She was far from being dressed for a quidditch match in late November. While Severus and Hermione sat shivering under layers of hats, gloves, mittens and a blanket, Ivy seemed to be wearing the least amount of clothes possible. The way she was dressed made Severus want to vomit. She was a tryhard. 

“We were discussing a Charms theory.” Hermione supplied, giving the other professor a tight smile. 

“I was asking Severus.” Gnats gave Hermione a pitiful look. “I can’t imagine why you drag her to matches, as if she’s even remotely interested.” 

Hermione’s fingernails dug hard into his thigh and he hissed, reactively pulling his legs together and effectively trapping her hand between them. Ivy placed her hand on his arm again, this time grabbing a fistful of his robes. 

“Don’t sodding touch me.” He ripped his arm from her grasp with a snarl. The hand holding Hermione to his side dug into her side and she yelped. 

“Oh, I see why you drag her out here now.” Gnats stood up, looking down at them with disgust. “That is entirely inappropriate. And in front of  _ children _ ! You could at least wait until you were alone!” 

Hermione snorted and Severus felt her drop onto his shoulder much like she did in the first meeting of the term. He parted his thighs, releasing her hand. Severus glowered with a nasty smirk playing on his lips. “I could say the same for you, Professor Gnats. The way you're dressed is entirely inappropriate for children.” 

Severus pulled the blanket away from their laps with his free hand, revealing his hand around her waist under her outer robe and her hand on his thigh. Both were completely clothed. He raised an eyebrow at her. “We’re clearly dressed for the occasion,” he nonverbally charmed the blanket back to their laps. “Perhaps you should put on a shirt, lest your tits freeze off.” 

Gnats turned bright red and crossed her arms, mouth dropping open in shock before she fled without another word. Severus snorted with laughter, squeezing Hermione’s side. 

“What a vapid woman.” Hermione smirked. Her hand was suddenly sneaking up to cup him through his trousers, squeezing once. 

“In front of children?” He mocked, shifting in his seat as he hand slid back down to his thigh. His trousers suddenly felt uncomfortably tight, his hardening cock straining against the fabric. 

“Are you still interested in the match?” She breathed in his ear. 

Severus sucked in a breath. “Not in the slightest.” 

A split second later the two of them were leaping to their feet, abandoning their seats in the stands for something far more pleasing. 


	9. I Don't Do Fake Love

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> As you may have noticed, I am currently obsessed with Bloody Valentine. If you want to give that song a listen, I highly recommend it, as I personally feel it is the perfect embodiment of everything going on currently with our duo. Enjoy and Happy Reading
> 
> Caboose

Chapter Eight: I Don’t Do Fake Love

(Title from Bloody Valentine - Machine Gun Kelly)

Late into the night, Hermione and Ginny lay in their respective beds at the Burrow, facing each other, as they giggled like teenagers and whispered secrets to each other in Ginny’s moonlit bedroom. Talk of especially attractive men transitioned to famous quidditch players, thanks to Ginny, and the mention of Victor Krum had them in peels of laughter when Hermione told her friend of the time they got to second base after the Yule ball so many years ago. 

Ginny told Hermione she never imagined her with a quidditch player anyway and always pictured her with someone more academic, “Like Gilderoy Lockhart.” she giggled and Hermione threw a pillow at her. 

“ _ Gilderoy Lockhart! _ ” She gasped, sending Ginny into another fit of laughter, “That was ages ago! He’s a complete ninny!” she giggled, falling back onto her pillow. Their laughter quieted down and she could hear Ginny turn over in her bed. 

Hermione rolled over to face her friend again, propping her head up on her elbow. She could barely see the outline of her friend’s face as she whispered across the darkness, “What do you think of...Severus Snape?” She breathed. 

Ginny snorted, a soft breath of air coming through her nose and Hermione could hear the wry smile in her voice. “What do you mean,  _ think of Severus Snape _ ? We’re talking about Professor Snape? Do you mean...like sexually?”

Hermione blushed and sucked her bottom lip into her mouth. She was glad that Ginny couldn’t see her face. She took a minute to answer that one, the silence suffocating between them. The conversation took on an air of seriousness and Ginny rustled in her bed again. She could see the outline of her propping her pillows in the crook of her arm. Ginny waited patiently and for that, Hermione was thankful. 

“No, Gin, I mean…” she trailed off. Hermione wasn’t sure how to answer that question. Of course she wanted him sexually, they were shagging after all, but now...she was realizing how much she wanted it to be more. Their conversations held her attention like no other and their partnership, the way they worked together was brilliant. He was funny, in a sarcastic, dry humor sort of way and she found him to be wonderful company whether they be talking or reading quietly beside each other. He was attractive, in a way that only someone like Hermione could see. The way his hair dropped over his shoulder to hide his expressions, his quiet observance next to her at staff meetings, followed by the sarcastic comments and his penchant for passionate outbursts. And _ ohhh _ , the way he held his delicate, yet weathered hands...that frock coat and how perfectly it fit him. Gods, the way he stalked down the corridors, robes billowing and - 

“Hermione?” 

“Yeah?” 

“ _ Do  _ you? Like Snape I mean?” her friend’s voice wasn’t judgemental or condescending or...disgusted. Hermione was surprised by that. Even she might have felt a little disgust for herself. 

“I...he’s intelligent...talented. Passionate…” Hermione took a deep shuddering breath. Okay, so now she was a bit over her head. He was her best friend. “He’s my best friend…”

“Oh.” Ginny said quietly and Hermione blushed in the dark. “So he finally let you in then?”

Ginny knew how much time and effort she spent on Severus after his coma. She was the only one who knew most of the story - it wasn’t like she could tell Harry or  _ Ron _ . She may not have known everything, in fact, she hardly knew any of the story. Hermione had kept everything to herself from the start of September, leaving Ginny to play catch up. “Yeah...yeah he did.”

“So you’re friends then? He actually wants you to come around?” 

“Gin...yes. He’s my best friend, we’re together nearly every day, of course he wants me to come around.” Hermione sighed, she was beginning to wish she’d never brought it up at all. Ginny was the only other person she felt she could talk about this with now. It wasn’t like she wanted to admit any of this to Minerva or Pomona. 

Well, I suppose so yeah.” Ginny agreed. Then, after a beat. “Do you think he’s packing?” 

Hermione gasped in the dark, “Honestly!” 

Ginny laughed, out loud then and Hermione couldn’t help but join in. A thump sounds from somewhere in the Burrow and the girls instantly shut up and look at each other waiting for Molly’s inevitable arrival in Ginny’s bedroom. 

It never came. 

“So do you?”

“Ginny! I...yes -no, no we are not talking about Severus' cock!” 

“Oh, it's _Severus_ now, is it?" Ginny teased, "I was just asking, jeesh. Wait, yes? So you  _ have  _ been thinking of what’s under his robes.” Hermione wished she had another pillow to throw. 

“He’s my  _ best friend _ , Gin. This isn’t...it doesn’t matter whether I fancy him or not. ” Hermione paused, before continuing despite the warmth creeping to her face. “I  _ try  _ not to...I swear every time is the last time and we can’t seem to  _ stop _ ...”

“ _ Oh _ ,” Ginny sucked in a breath. ‘When did you...?” she asked seriously. 

“...Halloween.” Hermione answered after a while.

Ginny didn’t say anything, just rolled onto her back. 

“It’s not like I...I....” She said, and she blushed again, thankful for the dark room. “It’s so  _ good _ . Gods, we can’t stop, it’s getting dangerous...I’m…”

She couldn’t say it, not out loud. She didn’t even want to admit it to herself. 

“You’re falling for him.” Ginny said, breaking the silence and Hermione nodded in the dark, though her friend couldn’t see her, pressing her palm against her mouth. 

“Yeah.” Hermione breathed. She doubted she’d ever be anything more than his best friend. And she was fine with that, she’d given up that desire the best she could in favor of his friendship. A friendship that would have been perfectly fine if they hadn’t done what they did on Halloween. Now she was in too deep and he was just...well, Hermione didn’t know. He was still her friend and she knew he thought the sex was good but what did he  _ think  _ of her?

“So...is he? Packing I mean.” Ginny asked in the dark and Hermione snorted. Merlin, Ginny  _ would  _ ask that. 

“...it’s not  _ small  _ if that’s what you’re asking.” she finally laughed, flopping onto her back. It was nice to laugh, to forget about the seriousness of it. As if she didn’t forget the seriousness of it every time she shagged him. Still, Ginny was her friend and just this once, she wanted the girl talk. She wanted to feel like she wasn’t alone, that someone supported her. 

“You should tell him.” Ginny said after their laughter died down. “I mean that. I’m here for you, promise.”

“Even if it’s Snape?” Hermione asked softly. 

“Yes, of course. You’re my best friend.” Ginny whispered. Hermione smiled, glad to have talked to Ginny. “Even if you’ve ditched me for Snape.” She teased. They giggled together and Hermione knew she’d have Ginny through it all. 

Ginny didn’t speak for a long time and Hermione thought she’d fallen asleep. And then, quietly in the dark, Ginny shared a secret of her own. 

“What about Draco Malfoy?”

* * *

It was a well-known fact that Professors Granger and Snape were together and becoming increasingly happy with their situation. There were rumors he’d propose soon. 

Everyone knew this, except for Severus and Hermione themselves. They seemed to be oblivious to any rumors and of course, their feelings for each other. Professor Ivy Gnats knew there was more to the rumors than the rest of the staff seemed to think, and a proposal was far from what she was thinking. The two of them were acting completely unprofessional and Ivy only wanted to keep the children of Hogwarts safe. After the quidditch incident, Ivy was determined to catch them in the act, proof of the inappropriate behavior between the duo. Proof they were ignoring the students safety needs in lieu of shagging in the corridors or  _ touching each other  _ at the quidditch pitch. She was certain Severus had used some kind of magic that day, she knew he was a rather powerful wizard and who knew what he could have done to hide such a thing?

Yes, she was going to get to the bottom of this. And if it happened to get that bushy haired little swot off the Potions Master’s arm and into hers, well then that was just a lucky coincidence. Ivy happened to be walking in the dungeons after curfew, she was a Slytherin after all and not completely out of place. The sound of approaching footsteps and muffled voices had her scrabbling to hide behind a tapestry near the Potions classroom and Severus’ personal rooms. Snanger Danger, gods she hated that name, passed by her hiding place and Ivy leaned in as far as she dared to hear the exchange. 

Nearing his office, Severus turned to Hermione with a devious smirk. “I think there’s something to attend to in my office.” 

Hermione gave him a sly smile, “I think you ought to go attend to it then.” 

Ivy’s eyes went wide.  _ Bingo!  _

Severus unlocked his door and lowered his wards. He pulled her into him, the both of them disappearing into the dark room. The door clicked shut behind them and Ivy threw back the tapestry. Headmistress McGonagall needed to hear about this. 

The Headmistress was already in her dressing gown when Ivy knocked on the heavily warded door of her office. She frowned, “Professor Gnats, whatever is the matter?” 

“I know it’s late, Headmistress, but I thought to come to you right away.” 

“Oh dear. Why don’t you come in and sit down.” Minerva said with concern in her voice. She sat at her desk, gesturing Ivy to sit across from her. 

“You know I wouldn’t come to you if I wasn’t worried for the safety of the children.” Ivy said dramatically. It was absolutely disgusting how the two were always together. They were  _ never  _ apart and now they were shagging when they should be working, something had to be done. “Professors Granger and Snape, the two of them are completely irresponsible! I had just visited Pomona and as I was walking back to my own rooms, I caught sight of the two. Oh, Minerva it was awful!” 

“Get on with it, Ivy. It’s getting late and if I’ve got staff members causing safety issues with students, I must act accordingly.” 

Ivy sniffed, playing it up real big with a fake sob. The Potions Master would be hers soon enough, out of the terrible influence of that insolent little  _ child. _ How daft could she be, expecting a man nearly 20 years her senior would stick around for anything more than a few good shags. Really, Ivy was doing that Granger girl a favor. 

“I just...it’s so inappropriate, sneaking off for a shag in an abandoned classroom! And during rounds, the nerve! Students could be out of bed, doing gods knows what! That Pines girl is pregnant, it could have been prevented!”

Minerva gave a great sigh and Ivy supposed that perhaps she laid it on a bit too thick. “Miss Pines has been pregnant since the summer, Professor Gnats. Hermione and Severus had nothing to do with such an instance.” 

“Well, just, just think of the others it could happen to!” 

“That’s quite enough.” Minerva said crisply, “Now these are very serious accusations. You must realize you are speaking of two heads of houses, one of which is my deputy headmaster.”

“I am perfectly aware of who they are, Headmistress. You have to believe I would not come to you and suggest I saw the two enter an abandoned classroom without good cause.” 

“I’m sorry, but what part of the castle did you say you were in?” Minerva asked, leaning forward in her chair. Ivy bit her lip anxiously. 

“I-I was in the dungeons, Headmistress.” Ivy said softly and she knew then that Minerva was not buying it. 

“And the classroom you saw them enter?” Minerva prompted and Ivy swallowed, refusing to meet the headmistress’ eye.

She shouldn’t have done this, she should have waited and found more incriminating evidence. “Potions.” 

“Are you not aware that Professor Snape is the Potions Master?” Minerva shook her head as if in disbelief. “They very well could be entering his private rooms, Professor Gnats. I cannot possibly believe the two of them were breaking any school rules.”

Ivy sighed; she was shaking. This was a terrible idea. “Yes, Headmistress.” 

"I suggest you think a bit harder next time, before you waste my time. Off with you." Minerva did not look happy and Ivy felt sick. She should have known this would backfire! She gave the Headmistress and small, apologetic smile before slipping out. Ivy would just have to find another way to make the Potions Master hers. 

* * *

“What are you doing?” Severus asked, leaning close to Hermione. Her hand inched up the inside of his thigh under the table. She only smirked at him, continuing her ascent up his thigh. He looked back at the Great Hall and then down at his plate, feigning interest in his lunch.  This wasn’t the first time they’d pushed boundaries in a public place, though Severus was against outright handjobs under the table in the Great Hall. Hermione, apparently, was not. 

Suddenly she had her hand gripped around his half hard cock through his pants, well, it used to be half hard. Severus clenched his teeth, this wasn’t appropriate, not in the slightest, but he couldn’t help his hips moving involuntarily in her hand.  _ Fuck _ , it was perfect. 

And he needed more. He chanced a glance at the witch beside him. Hermione gave him an innocent smile before squeezing his cock gently and he swallowed hard and leaned close to her. “I need you. Now.” 

The two of them nonchalantly got up and left with not so much as a notice from anyone else. His classroom was empty when they entered. He locked and warded the door before spinning to face her with a dramatic swirl of his robes. Severus pulled her into him with a hard kiss, hands going to her hair. “Gods, Hermione, do you have to accost me in public every time you want a shag?” He asked, said between kisses he pressed down her jaw and neck. 

She moaned softly and tilted her head back for him, “Sometimes I can’t wait.” 

“We have about 15 minutes,” he moaned as she wrapped her hand around him through his trousers. “On the desk.” 

Hermione wasted no time hurrying across the room to sit on the edge of Severus’ desk, dropping her knickers in the process. He was unbuttoning his trousers, stroking himself a few times as she inched herself over the edge, laying her head back over the parchment covering his desk. 

“You like when I fuck you on my desk, don’t you, Hermione.” Severus stepped between her legs, pushing the head of his cock inside of her. 

“ _ Severus _ !” she whined, hooking her legs around his waist. “Not the time for a tease.”

He grinned down at her and thrust hard into her with an unrestrained grunt. She cried out, angling her hips up to meet his as he set a rhythm. He fucked hard into her. His hand gripped the edge of his desk, the other holding her hips. “Were you planning on getting me off right there in the Great Hall?” 

“So what if I was?” She panted, her hands going to his hair. She dug her fingers in, pulling him into her. He rolled his hips, sending the desk sliding a few centimeters across the floor and grinned down at her. 

“Hardly appropriate, Miss Granger.” He purred in her ear before he groaned softly. She was too good and this was his favorite way to fuck her. Severus had no idea, but fucking her in the classroom where she once sat as his student was fuel for his arousal, despite his aversion to her when she actually  _ had _ sat in his class. 

“I don’t think anything we do is... _ Ohh, fuck _ …” Hermione tipped her head back, arching into him and Severus responded by rolling his hips against her again, making her cry out again. The sound alone had him close to coming right then and there. Severus wasn’t kidding about only having a few minutes, so he did it again. 

“Professor.” She gasped and it went straight to his cock. He bit down on the skin of her neck, nipping and kissing as he fucked into her again. “ _ Professor Snape _ .” 

He knew she was doing this for him now. “Say it again.” He murmured in her ear. When she choked out a broken moan, Severus knew she found it just as arousing as he did. 

“Fuck me, Professor.” Hermione’s voice was high and breathy. Severus pulled out nearly all the way, thrusting into her hard, making her cry out again. “ _ Severus _ !”

“Professor Snape.” he growled, pulling her hips hard against him. “Say it, Miss Granger.” 

“Ughn...Professor Sssnape.” She wimpered, her hands scratching down his back. The desk slid a few more centimeters across the floor with his next thrust, parchment flying to the floor.

“Five minutes, Granger.” He gasped, “I believe I...Ah _... _ have a class to teach.” 

“You’d better hurry then...Mmm, Fuck _ Ssnape. _ ” Hermione pushed her hips up into his, “Harder, Professor.” 

Severus fucked into her harder, knowing they were pushing their luck and any moment now students would be flooding the corridors for classes. “Mmm..fuck, fuck... _ Hermione _ .” 

The facade was broken and Severus was no longer to hold himself back. He was closer and closer to his climax, and she rolled her hips up into his once more. 

“Sev-” she’d cut off with a deep moan, holding her into him as he fucked into her with abandon. It was only seconds later before he thrust into her hard and coming hard inside her, crying out a few obscenities. 

He collapsed against her for just a moment before she sat up. “Severus, get  _ up _ .” He pulled out of her as she shifted forward to slide off the desk. “Professor, remember?” she raised an eyebrow, adjusting her clothes while he tucked himself back into his pants. 

“Fuck,” he breathed, reaching for his wand. The sound of students milling about the hall sounded from outside his classroom door. Severus cast a quick cleaning charm on the both of them and she stacked his parchments back on his desk.

“We were discussing grades, my 7th years are showing great potential.” he explained hastily, adjusting his robes as they stalked toward the door. “How do they fair in your class, Professor Granger?” He’d timed his question to his opening the classroom door and she snorted in response. 

“Ah, they’re doing great, no doubt will be ready for graduation this spring.” 

The two of them stepped out of the classroom with smiles on their faces. When Hermione turned away from Severus, she nearly ran right into the headmistress. 

“Minerva! Severus and I were just-”  Hermione never finished her sentence, there was no reason to. From the look on Minerva’s face, she was not there for a simple hello, and it was quite likely they’d been caught redhanded. 

“I assume the two of you were going over curriculum?” Minerva asked, though Hermione was certain she was only humoring them. Minerva knew  _ something _ . 

“Yes, Headmistress. I only had a few questions on Professor Granger's 7th years progress.” Severus answered smoothly from behind her. She breathed out a sigh of relief, Severus sounded sincere and believable. 

“Yes, well. I was hoping to speak to the both of you." Minerva looked between them and Hermione's stomach sank. "I understand the two of you have gotten...close, but nevertheless, I still have to address the rumors.” 

Severus scowled next to her. There had been rumors about them all year, why were they suddenly being looked into now? Hermione frowned at Minerva, “I would hope you ask the two of us before believing any rumors others have spread of us.” 

“Of course I cannot believe everything I hear, but when fellow staff members are questioning your behavior, there is no turning a blind eye.” Minerva smiled sadly, looking between the two. The rumors, many of them anyway, were true. But why would any of them matter to her, it wasn’t as if they were breaking any school rules. 

“I’ve decided perhaps it's time we change the around some partnerships on our nightly patrols. I am sorry to have to do this, but the two of you are practically attached at the hip. Perhaps it's time you take some time apart.” Minerva continued, “ Hermione I think you’ll quite enjoy the company of Pomona. And Severus..." Minerva paused and gave Severus a sad smile. "I think you and Ivy will...be sufficient.” 

Severus glared hard at the headmistress before disappearing into his classroom. Hermione frowned at Mcgonagall. How could she put Severus with that awful woman? It was obvious all Minerva had done was split up Pomona and Ivy to keep her and Severus apart. She supposed she could understand why Pomona might have wanted another partner - she could imagine how much of a handful Professor Gnats could be.  _ Poor Severus. _

“I’m sorry, Hermione, but I have a feeling that the two of you need this...take some time to think about what you want from him. You can’t go on like this forever.” Minerva patted her on the shoulder and without waiting for a response, left Hermione speechless in front of Severus’ classroom door. 

* * *

Hermione thought about what Minerva had said, all afternoon and all night. She stayed up into the early hours of the morning thinking about what she wanted from Severus. Their friendship had grown so much in the past two years and even more so in the last few months. She never imagined how funny Severus could be or how interesting conversations with him were. She never realized how sweet he was, when it seemed no one was watching. His teaching was brilliant, and though he was a bit abrasive, he’d been working on his teaching style. Of course she’d found him attractive in school, that had already been there. But it was like she was seeing him in a completely new light now that she’d gotten to know the real man under all those black layers. Suddenly, his eyes were so much more expressive and his hands much softer, and his voice much more soothing.

She could pretend all she wanted that friendship was all she wanted from Severus Snape, but that was not true in the slightest. There was a time when Hermione could say such a thing and get away with it. And though she was terribly attracted to the man, she wasn’t completely sure she was ready for a relationship with him. Now, it was like her heart called out for him. She wanted him, mind, body, and soul. Every piece of him he would give her. 

The only problem was, Hermione wasn’t so sure Severus wanted a commitment like that. They already spent so much time together, that wouldn’t change. The sex was fantastic, of course, and she knew Severus wasn’t complaining. Everything seemed to line up perfectly. 

Perhaps he  _ would  _ be willing to give a relationship a try with her. 

All she had to do was ask, right? And if he said no, then it was okay and they could go back to the way they were before. 

Except that wasn’t how real life worked. They’d been shagging for a month, no strings attached. How could they go from best friends with  _ the best  _ benefits to just best friends after someone admitted they ‘caught the feelings’? In theory, Hermione just didn’t see that working. She couldn’t justify ruining the best friend she’d ever had by going and telling him she was falling in love with him!

Hermione had a plan of sorts. Spending time with Severus as his friend was different than spending time with him in bed. Their friendship carried into the bedroom but the tender moments from the bedroom never left the bedroom. She wanted to see the two intertwined, feel his hand in hers as they walked and lean into him at dinner. Maybe she just needed to nudge him in the right direction and see how he reacted. She didn’t want to bring up the idea until she was sure he would be on board with it too. 

She only hoped she wouldn’t make a fool out of herself. 


	10. But I’ll take some from you tonight

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Another Bloody Valentine lyric and the second half to chapter eight. It got so big I had to cut it in half! 
> 
> Happy Reading!
> 
> Caboose

**Chapter Nine: but I’ll take some from you tonight**

**(Title from Bloody Valentine - Machine Gun Kelly)**

Severus was invited to Game Night. _Game Night_! 

What a terribly muggle night, but it was organized by one Harry Potter so Severus supposed it made sense. 

That didn’t mean he wanted to go. 

Hermione had begged and pleaded with him, bringing it up at any chance all week. He finally gave in when she got on her knees in the middle of his sitting room and delayed his orgasm until he agreed. It was her fault, really. But _fuck_ that blow job was fantastic and he wasn’t complaining. 

At least it wasn’t only former students of his. It was an organized gathering of what was left of the Order of the Phoenix. Severus wasn’t exactly sure he wanted to be there at all. And he told Hermione so, just as they walked up the front step. 

It was getting easier, telling her things. He knew he could trust her with most anything now. However, there were still a few secrets, a rather big one at that. But this was not the place to let his thoughts linger on that particular problem. 

“I don’t...Hermione, I’d like to leave.” He said quietly, pulling at her arm. 

“Severus you said- oh.” Hermione’s voice softened when she turned around and saw just how he was looking at her. There were a multitude of reasons why being at 12 Grimmauld Place, meeting with the Order, was a point of concern for Severus. He’d nearly died in the last war, Not everyone in the order believed him to be on their side - with good reason, and honestly, because Severus felt completely out of place. 

“You don’t want...the Order...after…” She said quietly, not finishing her thoughts. She didn’t have to and Severus didn’t want her to. 

“Yes...I um...that is to say I don’t…” Severus tended to lose his words when he was anxious. It was so much worse when he wasn’t occluding. His anxiety was practically nonexistent while he was, however, Severus was not occluding at the current moment and had not been for a while. He felt more relaxed. Occluding took a lot of his energy and for the first time in years, Severus truly felt he no longer needed to hold those shields in place as often as he did when he was protecting himself and the lives of others. 

However, it meant at this current moment, Severus was actually a bundle of nerves. 

“We don’t have to go inside. I didn’t know, I’m sorry.” Hermione said, giving him a sliver of a smile and took his hand in hers. 

“I said I would...it’s...well I suppose it’s only fair. How could I have said no?” he huffed out a short laugh. And he wanted to, he did. He wanted to for Hermione because this was important to her - to see everyone again. It was a small consolation that in addition to Hermione, Minerva would also be there. Even if he was still rather peeved at her for what she’d done. Ivy Gnats was a sodding disaster. 

“Severus, I shouldn’t have-” 

“I will occlude if things prove to be….difficult.” Severus interrupted, squeezing her hand in his for good measure. 

“No, you spent so long occluding, don’t start again for-”

“I said I will occlude.” he spoke over her with finality and Hermione nodded. 

She opened the door, slipping her hand from his when they entered, calling out greetings to the others inside. Severus smiled weakly, dropping his hand to his side. She would never be able to be proud of _him_. Not of being anything more than her friend. Severus closed his eyes with a deep breath, calming himself. Perhaps he would just start occluding now. 

Severus knew what to expect when he’d walked in. It had been a long while since he’d seen many of those people and he had no clue their thoughts on him. It didn’t matter either way, it was not as if Severus could change his past. Still, it never felt good to be the odd one out. 

He nodded to others in polite greeting, hanging his coat next to Hermione’s and followed her inside. She had disappeared already and it only took Severus a moment to find her hugging Ron and Harry. He diverted his attention, standing awkwardly at the edge of the group. Many of the original order members were present, save for those who lost their lives for the effort of the war. Severus felt something inside him shift uncomfortably at that thought, but pushed it away. He was there for Hermione, to eat food and play games and hopefully enjoy himself. There were a few others, Severus noticed, including a few students who were previously a part of Dumbledore’s Army, Filius Flitwick, and Pomona Sprout. He had not known she would be here. 

Severus smiled genuinely when he spotted her. She came right over and gave him a crushing hug. “Oh, Severus! I am so glad she convinced you to come!” 

“She can be very persuasive.” _She had no idea how persuasive Hermione could be._

“I knew she’d find a way.” Pomona nudged him goodnaturedly. He rolled his eyes and shook his head. She was about as subtle as a hippogriff in the sitting room. “Have you sorted yourselves out yet? Can I tell Fillius?”

“No, absolutely not!” Severus exclaimed, pulling his robes protectively over himself and crossing his arms. “This is not up for discussion.”

“Minerva told me about the other day, you know. Severus…” She warned, pointing a finger at his face and ignoring his scowl. 

“That was private information, Minerva had no right...it didn’t even. Rumors!” he sputtered, his face flushing. 

“I’ve heard plenty of the rumors, Professor Snape. Did you know you’ll be proposing to Professor Granger over Christmas?” Minerva quipped, suddenly appearing at his side. Severus glared at the headmistress. 

“Oh is he now? Why, Severus, how could you have forgotten to tell the two of us?” Pomona feigned surprise, looking between him and Minerva. Both women chortled together while Severus pouted. 

“Ha ha, yes very _funny_ Minerva.” He replied dryly.

“In all seriousness, Severus, when are you going to tell her?” 

He looked carefully at Minerva. He did not have to tell the two of them anything, they knew him too well. That did not mean he didn’t play dumb when they asked. “Tell her what?” 

“You very well know what! Look at the two of you, it’s obvious how bad you pine for her.” Pomona lowered her voice, touching his arm lightly. He jerked it away, staring at the both of them. This was not something he wanted to talk about, especially in public. In fact, Severus would just as well keep his private life private. 

He turned without answering, stalking away. 

“Severus, come on!” He heard Pomona call after him and then the mingling sounds of hers and Minerva’s laughter. 

Perhaps he would just stick next to Hermione all night. 

* * *

  
November turned into December and their friendship was never better. Severus found himself feeling closer and more attached to her each day and it was everything he could have ever wanted. 

Except it wasn’t. 

It wasn’t that she was awful, in fact, she was bloody fantastic. Their sexual chemistry was just as good as their emotional chemistry and everything seemed to line up perfectly. But he wasn’t hers, Severus knew that. They never did say it was exclusive and they never talked about it. What was between them was something that just happened, nothing planned or with purpose - at least not out loud. 

He shouldn’t keep doing this, let himself continue to get attached. This _thing_ , whatever it was, couldn’t quite be defined and the line between friendship and relationship was so blurred Severus couldn’t tell the difference. And yet, he had no idea how she felt about him. She hadn’t said and she wasn’t so keen on letting any of her friends or otherwise know what they were doing. 

Severus could tell her his feelings. But then where would that leave him? She was young, beautiful, and intelligent. Why would she want to commit herself to a man like him? Sure they were compatible now but what about in a few years from now. Would she get bored? 

And what would become of their friendship, if she did not feel the same? Or...if she did and it was now completely _fucked_ already. 

_Gods_ ….Severus was falling for her. He had been for some time, if he had to admit it to himself. He had to stop this, but how could he? 

Severus was incredibly selfish. 

There were times the thoughts consumed them, and Hermione knew as much when he was having what she would call an ‘off' day. Not that she knew why, she didn’t ask and he didn’t tell her. 

“Severus…” Hermione said softly. He knew that voice, the infliction of her words that suggested it wasn’t merely a response to the way his hips rolled against hers but something else entirely. He knew she noticed, she _always_ noticed. It was both a blessing and a curse of being so close. 

“Hm?” He only grunted in response, shifting over her and moving his hands from her hair to her waist. On his ‘off’ days, he tended to lose a bit of control of his emotions, oftentimes letting his hands linger too long on her face, in her hair. Thinking too much and letting his emotions get the best of him.

“You’re having an off day, aren’t you?” 

“No.” He gave her a weak smile, leaning down to kiss her softly. He moved slowly inside of her, trying to forget everything.

“If you don’t want-“ 

“I’m fine, what gave you the impression I wasn’t into it?” He asked, rolling hips with purpose to prove a point. 

“Please just talk to me…” she said softly, reaching up to brush his cheek. He leaned into her touch, breathing in deeply. He _couldn’t_ talk to her. This was something he would have to work through on his own. 

Severus dipped his head down and mouthed at her neck. Hermione sighed softly, sliding her hand behind his head. “Severus...stop. Look at me.” 

He sucked in a breath, pulling back and slipping out of her. She pushed herself up into a sitting position and he sat back on his knees, refusing to look at her. He did not want to talk about it, but he was not the kind of man to continue when a woman told him to stop, so he stopped. But he still wasn’t going to talk about it. 

“Hey…” Hermione said softly, her hand smoothing over his thigh. He swallowed and looked up at her finally. Her face was painted with concern, leaning toward him to catch his attention. Why did she have to be so nosy, so _attentive_ , so...perfect? “What’s going on? There’s something on your mind.”

“Last I checked only one of us was skilled in legilimency, you couldn’t possibly know what or what is not on my mind.” He responded, voice low. He wished she would just forget it. He wished _he_ would just forget it. 

“I don’t need to read your mind to know something is wrong, Severus.” 

He didn’t respond. She was always so good at shutting him up - she wasn’t one to take his shit and he knew that. 

“Come here.” 

He crawled to her, laying on his side next to her. He let her pull up the blankets around them and he reached out to pull her into him. Perhaps it was foolish to allow her to comfort him, but he wanted her, he wanted her comfort. It was also foolish to keep such a big secret from her, but he was used to secrets and lies; was what he did nearly his whole life. 

“You know you can talk to me, you’re my best friend, before anything else. Please let me help you.” 

“I-“ he hesitated, closing his eyes with a pained look. This was his chance. He could tell her and let it fall apart right there, as they both lay naked and vulnerable in her bed. Severus Snape was no coward, but...he couldn’t do it. He couldn’t lose her. “I don’t wish to discuss it.” 

She surprisingly didn’t push it, but instead tucked her head into his chest, pressing a kiss to sternum. They lay in silence like that, tucked around each other, listening to each other's breathing. 

“I will never leave you, Severus.” She whispered into his skin, holding him close. He only nodded and she skimmed her hand down his back and over the slope of his arse and back up again. 

Long after her hands had stilled and her breathing had evened out, Severus lay awake. His hand cupped the back of her head, holding Hermione close to him, staring into the dark nothingness of her bedroom. They had to stop this, all of it. 

It wasn’t that he was going to change much in the next few years. Pushing forty, Severus was young in wizarding standards. Their age difference, that could work fine even, it wasn’t that. She deserved a better man. He was cynical, sarcastic, and introverted. He wasn’t the most social wizard and was not considered to be a kind man in many regards. He knew he wasn’t anything to look at, Severus wasn’t stupid. His hair was greasy most of the time - potions tended to do that when one spent years over a hot cauldron. His nose was too big, his teeth not straight, his eyes...too cruel. 

He took a shuddering breath, pressing a kiss to her hair. Severus often wondered how long their friendship would last in the first place. He supposed she’d eventually move on, make new friends and abandon him. 

Just like Lily. 

He’d still have Pomona and Minerva of course. But Hermione was more than that. She was _different_ . He did not want to lose her. He could not keep shagging her, breaking himself apart each time to keep her close and making it enough for him. It _wasn’t_ enough. If they stopped shagging, perhaps their friendship could be salvaged. Maybe, if she abandoned him as his friend and he’d already gotten over her, it wouldn’t hurt so bad. 

Severus buried his face in her curls, swallowing thickly. It was too bad giving Hermione up _now_ was going to hurt worse than he ever imagined. 

* * *

Hermione lay awake in Severus’ arms, wishing there was a way to take his pain away. She did not know what was wrong, but she couldn’t ask. She knew he needed this moment, alone with whatever demons he was facing inside. She told herself he would come to her when he was ready.

Still, Hermione tightened her hold around his waist, closing her eyes. With her head tucked against his chest, she held him close as she listened to the muffled sounds of Severus’ sobs shaking his body until he finally cried himself to sleep. 

* * *

Hermione was the first to wake the next morning. 

The thing about Severus was he was a clingy sleeper. She would have expected him to sleep curled up on his side, away from his bed partner or even, sprawled out taking up half the bed. Hermione did not, however, expect to wake up with a spider monkey. 

He was on his side, but just barely. In fact, most of his body was covering Hermione’s own, a leg thrown over her hip, an arm flopped across her waist. His left hand still cradling her head, fingers buried deep in her curls. She was, for all intents and purposes, effectively trapped. 

It was rare they spent an entire night together and she couldn’t help the amused smirk that played on her lips as she focused on the feeling of the rise and fall of his chest pressed against hers. Despite how much she loved the current situation she was in, her stiff limbs were crying out for some kind of movement. Hermione cast a glance at the clock hanging over the doorway. She was suddenly glad it was Sunday, because they had missed breakfast. 

“Severus.” Hermione whispered, reaching her only free hand up to brush his cheek. He shifted against her, just barely, but slept on. He needed his sleep, after the previous night, and Hermione hated to wake him.

“Severus…” she said a bit louder, pushing her fingers through his hair. 

He inhaled a rapid breath through his nose, “Hmm…?” The fingers in her hair flexed, pulling on the tangles of curls. 

“Careful, that hurts.” She winced, earning a lazy smile from Severus. Though his eyes are closed, she knew he was awake. 

He brought her head to his, brushing his lips against hers. They lingered for a moment, “You stayed.” 

“It’s my room, why would I-” Hermione whispered against his lips. She realized then what he meant. _Oh._ “Of course I stayed. I told you I wasn’t going anywhere.” 

* * *

Hermione’s back slammed against the hard wood door, a gasp escaping her lips as Severus pressed himself against her. His lips hovered over hers, “You have no idea what you do to me, Hermione.” 

She stared back at him, their breaths coming out in desperate pants, mingling between the small space between their lips. “I believe I do, Severus.” 

“Tell me to stop.” Severus whispered desperately, his lips brushing hers, waiting for the answer. He looked pained, desperate. There was something there behind his eyes that held all the hurt and pain and Hermione very nearly told him no. But she knew she could never turn him down. Everytime should be the last time, yet, the same desperate plea hangs off his lips, _Tell me to stop._

“I don’t ever want you to stop.” She breathed, pulling him into her. There was a clash of teeth and tongues as they pulled at each other’s clothes. Hermione had his pants undone in seconds as Severus pushed up her skirt, gathering the material in his fist. One hand yanked her knickers down and Hermione stepped easily out of them when she lifted her leg instinctively to his waiting hand. Severus pulled her leg tight around his waist while she wrapped her hands around his cock, stroking him twice before guiding him to her entrance. Their moans tangled together along with their heavy breathing. Severus let out a relieved grunt when he finally pushed in into her. 

“We have to stop.” Severus growled out, setting a rhythm of slamming into her and rattling the door each time. “You can’t -“ 

“I _can_ , Sever-ah!” She cried out when he brushed the perfect spot inside her. “Don’t stop.”

And he didn’t stop. Severus _never_ wanted to stop.

* * *

That night, Severus had an argument with himself. This was stupid, completely reckless! No matter how beautiful she was or intelligent she was or even, how perfect their hands fit together, he was under no circumstances whatsoever to go any further with this. One of them was going to get hurt in the end and Severus was going to be _sure_ it wasn’t him. 

Except, it was too late for that, wasn’t it? 

He paced his private rooms at Hogwarts, pulling at his own hair in exasperation, hyperventilating. He let himself get too close, allowed her attention too long because it felt _nice_ to feel wanted by someone. Severus thought it was just a sexual attraction, it would go away soon enough. But no! No no no no, it wasn’t simply a matter of arousal, but the entirety of Hermione herself. 

He yearned for her, wanted to hold her in his arms and kiss her skin. Severus wanted to be able to freely invite her for tea and curl up in front of the fireplace, stay up late with her as they talked and lazily kissed for hours, wrapped around each other. This wasn’t fair, that he be cursed with such strong feelings for his very best friend and no way to ever give her what she deserved. Someday, it would all stop. Not just the kisses and the sex, but the friendship. She would disappear when someone else inevitably entered their orbit, cutting him out completely. Was their friendship _ever_ not laced with sexual tension? 

It was...disgusting, how often Severus thought of her. Perhaps she wanted him yes, but for how long? The minute he gave in would be the moment she gave up, Severus just knew it. 

It was a matter of whether Severus wanted to admit he had grown quite fond of the girl, both physically and mentally. She was his best friend as it were. This wasn’t just some easy shag, it was _Hermione._ Sleeping with your best friend never ended well and now, Severus had _feelings_ for her. She was more than his best friend. 

And it scared him. 

Severus was disgusted with himself. He was a coward and an idiot. 

They shouldn’t be doing this. But Severus was losing his grip on his self-control. He sighed deeply. Severus didn’t want her to give him any more attention or feed his growing affection for her. He didn’t want her moaning under her then dressing to curl up next to him in his bed. He did not want her to continue to allow him to lose himself in her. At the same time, Severus _wanted_ . Her attention, her company, and her affection. Fuck, he _wanted_. 

He couldn’t have both. He scowled.

A lot of things got destroyed that night, mostly at the tip of his wand. When Severus had enough slashing and shattering everything in sight, he disrobed slowly and took a shower with a full bottle of firewhiskey.

* * *

“What do you mean, ‘you can’t do this anymore?’” Hermione whispered, looking up at him with hurt in her eyes. She refused to sit when he asked her to, so he sat alone on his settee, wishing more than anything he could take it back. But Severus had to be strong. What good would it do if he allowed her to disrobe for him and take her once more? They couldn’t anymore. He needed to move forward and give her an out. She would thank him for it later, when she stood at the altar marrying one of the Weasley boys or even Harry Potter himself. 

Even Potter would be better than him for Hermione. 

“I _can’t._ ” Severus stated, trying not to look at her. “This isn’t doing either of us any favors. We’re losing ourselves, Hermione.” 

“Losing ourselves? Severus, how can I lose myself when I feel most like myself when I'm with _you_?” She swallowed, her voice breaking. He bit his lip and closed his eyes. “You are the only one who makes me feel alive anymore.”

“And perhaps there is a problem with that!” He bit out, his fist clenching at his side. “You don’t need me to feel alive, Hermione! You _shouldn’t_ need me! This is a toxic relationship.”

“Toxic! Severus, this is...this…” She broke off, probably realizing he was right. This was toxic, as much as he wished it wasn’t. It was either jump all in or get off the horse. Severus was choosing to walk away, before it got any worse.

Severus sucked in a breath and looked up at her, glaring into her eyes to keep himself from showing any other emotions. “You cannot fuck your best friend and expect there to be no consequences! How long did you expect this to last? Years? I’ve got news for you, Granger, it’s not happening. We are relying on each other for far too much and it can’t continue. You’ve got a life to live, without me.”

“Severus...you sound like...like.” Hermione’s lip quivered and Severus spotted a single tear track down her cheek. He dropped his gaze to his lap again, willing himself to continue on. This hurt, so much. It was better this way, so much better. She hadn’t said anything about _love_ or...or some kind of real relationship. She seemed perfectly content just fucking him every night and continuing on as if nothing was happening. “Are you ending our friendship? You’re just...opting out?”

“What, no!” He leapt to his feet in an instant. _So much for staying strong_. “I will always be your friend, Hermione. I meant that. I’m not going anywhere.” he crossed the short distance between them and she nearly backed away from him. He hesitated in front of her, wishing to take her into his arms and just pretend this wasn’t happening.

“Then why are you doing this?” She whispered, wiping away a stray tear. 

Severus sighed. “You deserve better. So much better. I care too much about our friendship to keep this up.” 

“I...Severus...You’re my best friend.” 

Severus closed the distance between them, folding her into his arms. They held each other for a long time, holding back tears. Severus breathed heavily, choking back the sob that threatened to rip from his throat. He should have just told her. He wished he had told her. But what good what it have done? She would change her mind, as they all did. “You will always be my best friend too.”


	11. Misery Business

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> For those of you who wanted to see Ivy Gnats put in her place: You got your wish. Enjoy. 
> 
> Happy Reading,  
> Caboose

**Chapter Ten: Misery Business**

**(Title from Misery Business by Paramore)**

Severus’ first night of rounds with Ivy Gnats had been truly awful. As had every night after. He missed Hermione and their partnership. He missed the teasing and the easy conversation and being feared by students as a team. He even missed that ridiculous nickname. Rounds with Ivy were just...boring. And extremely fucking annoying.

They walked alongside one another, Professor Gnats talking his ear off while Severus grumbled under his breath. There had to be _something_ to shut that infuriating woman up! He briefly considered a silencing charm, however he did unfortunately have to hear a few things she’d said - they were on duty together. So Severus sucked it up and let her talk, so much like Hermione was. Except, when Ivy Gnats talked, she had nothing worthwhile to say. 

“Severus, you’re so quiet! And here I was thinking you were just the _perfect_ conversationalist!” She chirped, touching his arm. He jerked it away from her, hard. 

“Don’t touch me.” He growled, stalking ahead of her. Gods, that incessant woman! The first time he’d ever laid eyes on the new professor, Severus noticed instantly how much like Lily she truly looked. She was beautiful, exactly his type. 

Then she opened her godsforsaken mouth! 

Besides that, Severus found that his type had drastically changed since then to include warm brown eyes and a mess of chestnut curls. Nothing at all like Ivy Gnats. 

And she was nothing more than his best friend again. He nearly wished he could go back to shagging her, but what good would that do? This was to make things easier for him. So he could move on. Only, it wasn’t exactly working. 

“I just thought with the way you talk with that bushy haired swot, you’d have a bit more to say to me is all.” 

Severus stopped suddenly, whirling to face the offensive professor. “That ‘bushy haired swot’ happens to be one of the most intelligent and thoughtful professors at this school, Gnats.” He sneered, his voice wavering with anger he attempted to keep under control. “It would do you well to learn a thing or two from Hermione Granger.” 

“Oh! Severus, such fierce loyalty for a Slytherin. I now see why you’re always hanging around such a girl.”

“ _Professor Snape_.” Severus snapped, looking down at her with disdain. _Half-Blood Prince of Disdain at his finest._ His heart swelled painfully at the thought of Hermione. “I don’t recall ever granting you the permission to use my given name.” _Insolent, vapid, bitch._ Severus swallowed hard, struggling to keep his temper. His occlumency was rivaled only by a dead man and now, he felt it slipping as easily as an ice cream melted from its cone on a hot summer day. 

Drip. Drip. Drip. 

“Is that how you like it then?” She purred, stepping closer. His hand slipped into his robes and wrapped around his wand in an instant. “ _Professor Snape._ Is that why you let her fuck you….because you get off on the idea of the professor fucking his student? She was your student, right?” 

Plop.

Severus had his wand to her throat in an instant, shoving her back hard against the wall. “You will wish you’ve never been born you vapid, presumptuous twat.” He snarled, his arm across her chest, holding her hard against the wall. She squirmed against him and had the audacity to smirk. 

Severus narrowed his eyes, “If you say another word against Granger, you will get _exactly_ what you deserve, you bloody slag. Do I make myself clear?”

His voice came out low and cutting. He wanted to fling a nasty curse, and he did know some quite nasty ones, at her. But he refrained, shoving off her and stalked away, robes billowing dramatically in his wake. He would always defend Hermione, always. Long after she was gone and he was alone once more in this world, Hermione would always be held in the highest regard.

“So grumpy!” Ivy gasped, catching up to him. He frowned, of course she did. “Come on, Severus, talk to me.” 

He ignored her, stalking away from her at a fast pace. He couldn’t do this anymore, he was going to McGonagall and he was going to force her to change it back before he had murder on his hands. What was she thinking, putting the two of them together? While Hermione got _Pomona_. If he couldn’t have Hermione, at the very least he would have been perfectly content with Pomona. It wasn’t fair, then again, what was fair in this world? Nothing for Severus. Gnats was coming closer and then she was touching him again. He glared hard into her eyes which held no malice. Only pure lust. Severus panicked. He did _not_ want her anywhere near him. Despite breaking it off with Hermione, she was still the only one he wanted to be with. And despite all that, she was still his best friend. He knew exactly how she felt about the Muggle Studies professor. 

“I believe I said to keep your hands off me.” He growled, wrenching his hands away from hers. She pouted, backing him into a wall. 

“You know what I think you need? A good shag. You’re so uptight, let me ease your frustration…” she purred, throwing herself against him and forcing her lips to his. 

He sucked in a hard breath in surprise, grasping for his wand. When he couldn’t pull it free, he grabbed both her shoulders and forcibly shoved her backward just as she attempted to push her tongue into his mouth. He spat on the floor, wishing to rid his mouth of any trace of her. 

“I don’t need a damn thing from you, woman.” He gasped, finally finding his wand and pointing it at Professor Gnats. She laughed, completely unfazed. “Do you realize exactly what I am capable of?” 

“Oh, yes. Our own _war hero._ ” She purred, grinning and stepped closer yet again. Would she ever learn?

“War hero, yes. Then you’re quite familiar with my previous position with the Dark Lord and exactly what I can, and will, do to you, Gnats.” he spat, closing the distance between them to back her into the wall once more. If Severus wasn’t mistaken, there was fear in her eyes. He smirked, looking down on her like a predator stalking his prey. “Think very carefully about what you do next.” 

“Severus.” she gasped, her arms going up in surrender. Severus certainly didn’t stop. He wanted to make sure she would never look in his direction, or Hermione’s, ever again. 

“Professor Snape,” he snarled, pressing her harder into the wall, his wand pressing under her chin. She was practically shaking now. “You will _never_ have the pleasure of my name gracing your tongue again. Say it.” 

“P-Professor S-Snape.” She whispered, fear in her eyes. He grinned maliciously at her, getting far too much enjoyment out of finally putting that vapid bitch in her place. 

“Good.” He sneered, “I suggest you make yourself scarce before I use one of the many dark curses I know to do it for you.” Severus threatened, his eyes darkening. He took a fistfull of her robes, pulling her off the wall. Professor Gnats must have finally lost her nerve because she stumbled away from his grip, fleeing in the opposite direction. 

Severus smirked and continued on. 

And that was how you got rid of a vapid slag. 

* * *

Hermione wanted to scream. How dare he? _How dare he!_

She clenched her hand so tight on her wand that her fingers turned white. She turned on her heel, stomping away with tears pricking her eyes and blurring her vision before she could see Severus shove the awful woman off of him.

_How could he kiss her?_ Her? _He knows how much I despise that Lily-Lookalike busty slag!_ Hermione thought, swallowing her sobs. 

She hurried down the corridor, aiming to go anywhere far away from Severus Snape, that slimy snake. He broke it off for her, didn’t he? He broke it off so he could fuck _her_ instead of Hermione! 

She sniffed and wiped her cheeks with her sleeve. He was supposed to be her best friend! How could he do this to her? At the very least, Severus could have been honest with her about what he wanted. 

_Just like you were honest about what you wanted?_ Hermione thought bitterly. 

She couldn’t be angry at him, not really. Severus was her best friend and that was all he was. She should be _happy_ for him. She was beautiful, she looked just like Harry’s mum. Sure, her personality was less than to be desired for, but wasn’t Severus’ as well? 

_No. No not really._ Hermione hung her head, leaning against the wall next to the Potions classroom. She fled across the castle, as far as Severus as she could get and still she subconsciously sought out the comfort of Severus himself. 

She slid down the wall, squeezing her eyes closed and wishing her pain away. Hermione buried her face in her arms, mentally berating herself for not telling Severus what she wanted. It was her fault, she let him walk away. She told him it was okay to go back to being just friends. 

Severus Snape would never be _just a friend_. 

The sound of someone in the corridor had Hermione popping her head up and glancing around. She was suddenly very aware of where she was and very aware of how many people, students and staff alike, who could very well see her bawling her eyes out in front of Professor Snape’s rooms. 

She quickly wiped at her eyes when she heard the familiar footsteps echoing in the empty corridor and the unmistakable sound of Severus’ low voice as he came into view. He was stalking dramatically with his hand gripping his wand. 

“Granger.” He barked and she scrambled to stand up, only to fall on her knees. _Great, just great!_

Hermione wanted nothing more than to curl up in his arms and feel his comfort but she was supposed to be angry at him. She wanted to hex him into next Tuesday. He looked down at her, face settled into a grim line. He looked like he was about to murder someone and she hoped it wouldn’t be her. She looked up at him, trying to smile but failing miserably. 

“Why, pray tell, are you on the floor in front of my classroom?” He asked in a low voice. Hermione hadn’t heard him talk like that to her in a very long time. It frightened her. It also upset her greatly. He was slipping away from her, he couldn’t even talk to her like he used to. What was happening between them now? 

Hermione burst into tears again. She really couldn’t help it. And then she was crying harder because she was angry at herself for letting him see her like this and get the satisfaction of hurting her. 

“Hermione.” Severus breathed and she heard the rustle of his robes as he dropped to the floor in front of her. She let him wrap her into his arms and she buried her face in his robes. He smelled like home. This made her cry harder. 

“Shh...I’ve got you. I’m here.” He whispered and she could feel him kiss the top of her head and the lingering press of his face against her curls like he had so many times before. Hermione didn’t think she would have any tears left after this. His hand stroked her back and the other held her head to his chest. She could hear his heartbeat through the layers of his robes.

She shouldn’t be here on the floor with him. She shouldn’t be in his arms when he should be in _hers._ If Lily-Lookalike came around the corner and caught them like this, Hermione was sure to be in trouble. He wasn’t her Severus anymore, he belonged to somebody else. 

“I’m sorry.” Hermione gasped into his front. “I shouldn’t be here.” She released his robes from her clenched hands and pushed him back. He held on, and he was strong. Hermione wasn’t going anywhere. 

“Why should you not be here?” Severus asked, folding her back into his arms. “I’m not going anywhere and neither are you.” 

"S-Severus.” She sobbed, “I...you’re not...y-youre not mmm,” she cut off with a wail, burying her face to his chest again. Telling him how she felt would do nothing for them now. 

Instead of an answer, he sighed heavily and held her tight against him. He let her cry, soaking the front of his robes, whispering soothing words against her hair until she was out of tears. She sniffed, sighing against him. 

“Come on.” 

He stood up, pulling her along with him. She stayed close, not wanting to let go. She shouldn’t be with him, she should have gone back to her rooms. Hermione should at least stop him in the sitting room but then he was pulling to her up the stairs and into his room. He sat on the bed, holding his arms out expectantly for her. She crawled up automatically, settling her back against his chest and Severus wrapped his arms around her to hold her close. She couldn’t tell him why she was so upset but he had a right to know that she knew what had happened. 

In the end, Hermione said nothing. Severus never asked. It was like that for them, it seemed. No questions asked comfort, always. She cried in his arms and he held her so close she couldn’t wiggle from his grasp even if she wanted to. Where was Ivy now and why was Severus with Hermione instead? She did not want to know the answer to that question. She had to get used to this, for this may very well be the last time he ever held her close. 

When she woke up a few hours later, the blanket they took to Quidditch matches that usually sat folded at the end of his bed was draped over their legs. Severus was still dressed in his teaching robes, frock coat and all and very very warm around her. But he was sleeping, his head propped up on hers, arms still around her middle and their legs intertwined under the blanket. She felt safe and at home. Perhaps Hermione was selfish, but she did not wake him. She only pressed a kiss to his hand, closed her eyes, and drifted off to sleep once more. 

* * *

Hermione collapsed onto the sofa after a dance with Ron, and it just so happened, it was Severus she had fallen onto. He couldn’t protest that she was leaning against him once more. He had been watching them, a sour look on his face while he sipped his drink. What a waste of a human, Weasley. 

They’d come to this party together, as they did most everything else. Only, after that night Severus found Hermione crying on the floor in front of his classroom, things had gotten strained between them. She kept her distance, trying her best never to spend too much time alone with him. It was like she had all the excuses in the book to leave him alone. She hadn’t come over for tea all week. And the _looks_ she gave him when she thought he wasn’t looking. As if she might hex him. But then, the smiles and the inside jokes resumed once more and all was well. Hermione was practically hot and cold. 

Well, perhaps she had found another then and was pulling away slowly so as to not upset Severus. 

* * *

Laughing and red faced, Hermione collected her drink from where she set it on the side table and leaned against the arm of the sofa to catch her breath.

“Severus!” She greeted, giggling a bit. She was just a _tiny_ bit tipsy. He was holding a glass of firewhiskey and his face quirked up into a small smile. She quite liked his smile, really. She missed it and wished she could see it more often. It felt like he smiled less and less in his presence lately, though she supposed he was trying to keep his distance. Because of that vapid Lily-Lookalike. Hermione wondered why he’d come to the Order Christmas party with her and not Gnats. She couldn’t complain though, because Severus had chosen her first and she was happy to go anywhere with him. 

“Hermione, it appears you have had a bit too much to drink.” he commented and Hermione shook her head. 

“No, I’m okay.” Hermione brought the glass to her lips and took a sip. Snape shook his head, reaching for her glass. “Oi! This is full!” she protested with another drink and he raised an eyebrow. She wondered if this would turn out like the last time they’d gotten this drunk together. She smiled at him knowingly, leaning away from him. 

“I realize.” he murmured, this time succeeding in taking the glass. He set it on the table behind him and turned back to her. “Trust I’ve made the right decision for you.” This time he chuckled. It was a soft, deep laugh and Hermione smiled despite her protests. 

“You don’t have a right to make decisions for me, Sev...Snape...” she slurred over her words. Severus looked absolutely fantastic tonight, all she wanted was to take him into an empty room and fuck him. But he was being odd, limiting her alcohol use and he did not lean into her and giggle like before. This wasn’t her Severus. This was Ivy’s Severus - reserved and...and brooding. 

He watched her carefully before he finished off his own firewhiskey and set the glass aside. “No, perhaps not. But I can suggest you stop, lest someone take advantage of you.” 

She followed his gaze to Ron, who was leaning against Ginny as he told her a story and she laughed, punching her brother in the arm. Hermione snorted. “Ron? You think - really?” 

Snape glared at the young boy instead of facing Hermione. “Irrefutable.” he murmured with a sneer. 

Hermione blinked, trying to process the situation. Ron was standing in the corner with Harry now, laughing about something and completely ignoring her. Where Severus got the idea that he could possibly come on to her, Hermione did not know. Severus sneered at the unsuspecting boy, not looking at her at all. If she didn’t know any better, she would say Severus was jealous. Then again, who was the one who ended this in the first place? Severus. 

That man had no right to be jealous, least of all for someone she had absolutely no romantic connection for. And Severus had a girlfriend! How could he look like that at Ron and insinuate he would possibly come on to Hermione and have the audacity to be upset about that when he was shagging Ivy Gnats?

“I...Severus...Ron’s my friend. He would never-“

“Never what, Hermione?” he snapped his head around to stare at her so suddenly that Hermione could only jump in surprise.

It was the firewhiskey. The last time they’d drank together, they had wine. A _lot_ of wine. This was a new side of Severus she had never seen before. He was angry. Perhaps firewhiskey did that to him. Or perhaps he was just being an utter git. 

Hermione’s mouth opened and closed several times. “I don’t see how my relationships are any of your concern.” 

Their eyes met for a second. 

“You’re right, they’re not.” His face fell into what Hermione had discovered to be his mask long ago. He was hiding something from her. 

Then he stood and strode away, leaving Hermione incredibly confused and yes, not tipsy but drunk. She wanted him, Gods she wanted him so bad. It wasn’t fair that everything had turned out this way! Hermione wished she’d had the nerve to tell him before it was too late, but now it was and he was being a complete arse about it. If he was so angry about her love life, he should have done something about it himself!

The way he sneered at Ron just now, _ugh!_ Hermione swallowed hard and her alcohol-clouded brain was having a hard time processing this. 

Severus Snape was jealous. Very, very jealous. 

She reached for her glass where he’d left it and took a big drink. Ron was standing in front of her when she set the empty class back on the table and she grinned. If he was jealous, she would actually give him something to be jealous about. 

* * *

“Fuck, ‘mione!” 

A gasp in her ear and a sharp bite to the skin below. Her hand on his arse pressed him harder into her, grinding herself into him. Hands were everywhere, sliding up her side, squeezing her breast, in her hair. A sharp tug to her curls had her whining into her partner’s mouth. She was on fire. 

She pushed her hand sloppily between them, rubbing him through his pants a few times before tugging his zipper down. 

“You sure? You’re not…’Ermione...we aren’t -” he broke off into a deep moan, pushing his hips to meet her hand when she finally freed him. 

She kissed him hard to drown out the sound and slid her hand along his length a few times. “Does it feel like I’m unsure?” Hermione purred, pulling him in for a hard kiss. 

* * *

Severus hummed lowly, gripping his wand hard at his side. He sucked in a hard breath and they disappear into the nearest bedroom before he can gather the courage to hex his best friend and her _lover_ apart.

His _best friend._

Hermione was his best friend and confidant and he was the one who told her to stop fucking around with him anyway. That this thing between them was eventually to fizzle out. Her friendship meant more to him than anything. She could bloody well shag anyone she wanted, couldn’t she? 

So why did he feel like sending Ron to St. Mungos?

* * *

His eyes were squeezed shut and he was pushing into her hard. She wrapped her legs around his waist and he buried his face in her hair as she stared up at the ceiling. The hot breath on her neck and the obnoxious moans in her ear had her wishing she’d put a silencing spell on him. A bite on her neck had her moaning and her eyes fell closed. 

_Severus._

She imagined his hair brushing against her skin and his silky voice in her ear. She bit her lip and pressed her fingers to her clit. Her partner didn’t mind, he was too wrapped up in himself to notice. She let out a breathy moan. 

_Severus was above her, nipping at her neck and fucking into her hard as her moans got louder and louder when he hit that spot just right._

She cried out. She was so close. “That good, babe?” she heard a husky voice in her ear and she gasped, willing that voice to belong to Severus. He sounded nothing like her Severus. She ignored him. She was _so_ close. She can tell her real partner was too, so her pace picked up on her clit. 

Hermione lost herself in her own world, thinking only of Severus when she finally cried out her orgasm, the beginnings of his name soft on her lips. Ron’s wailing was the only thing that saved her from getting caught. 

When he collapsed against her, grinning like crazy, she forced a smile back. She closed her eyes so she didn’t have to see her biggest mistake laying naked and spent on top of her. Suddenly Hermione didn’t feel so tipsy anymore.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> I feel I should apologize for such a long time for an update. I have been wanting to post for the past two weeks but I just couldn't get that first scene right in chapter 9 and chapter 10 had been ready to post for a week, so I'd rather have posted them together. I will admit, my motivation was lacking, for I have fallen deep into the Snupin rabbit hole, so expect a few Snupin works to be posted in the meantime. As it sits, only one chapter left, though I am thinking I may have to post it in two parts. Thanks for reading!
> 
> -Caboose


	12. I Don't Have to See You Right Now

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> The last chapter, finally! I do hope it meets your expectations, this was a lot of work and I am so proud for my very first multichapter fic. Thank you so much for the support and the comments, they certainly made writing this worth it. 
> 
> ~Caboose

**Chapter Eleven: I Don’t Have To See You Right Now**

**(Title from Mt. Washington by Local Natives)**

  
  


Hermione woke with a splitting headache. Sometime in the night, she’d left Ron snoring loudly in the bed to curl into the very sofa where she sat mere hours ago with Severus, thoroughly disgusted with herself. 

She sighed, keeping her eyes closed and letting out a long, quiet moan. 

“Granger.” 

She’d know that voice anywhere. Her eyes snapped open and he towered over her with two mugs of tea. He was in his socked feet, his white button-up rolled at the sleeves and partially unbuttoned. He must have stayed here then. A glance around the room proved he slept in the arm chair in the corner - his outer robes lay draped across the arm. 

She sat up, sliding over for him to sit next to her. He did, his face unreadable. Her hair was a mess, she was still wearing her clothes from yesterday, and she smelled like a combination of shameful sex and a tavern. He didn’t smile when he handed her the tea. She brought it to her nose to inhale deeply before taking a sip. They sat in an uncomfortable silence. 

“Never what, Hermione?” the same question from last night lingered in the air. All Hermione could hear was the drip drip drip coming from the kitchen faucet and the tick of the grandfather clock in the hall. 

“How did you know?” She asked quietly, looking down at the steaming cup in her hand. Perhaps she had set out to hurt Severus, but at what cost? She hurt herself in the process and now the way Severus was looking at her, she instantly regretted her choices. If she wanted to make him jealous, Hermione could have just gone for a very public kiss with Ron. She didn’t have to shag him.

“You wanted to be seen.” He said simply, sipping from his own mug. “Hard to miss something so clearly done as an act to get one’s attention.” 

* * *

Hermione blushed and Severus sat back against the cushions. She wanted him to see, it was very clear. She’d half undressed the boy in the hall for fucks sake! Hermione was drunk, he knew that, but Severus also knew that she knew exactly what she was doing and why. It was as if she wanted to throw it in his face that she’d moved on so quickly and she didn’t need him for anything. 

“I...Severus I didn’t mean for-” 

“But you did, Hermione.” Severus cut in, glaring sharply in her direction. “You sought him out to prove a point. There was no point to prove.” 

“Prove a point? Of course I was proving a point, Severus!” her mouth dropped open and she stared at him with a look of disbelief. “You sat here, insinuating someone may ‘take advantage of me’ as if you thought I couldn’t possibly _want_ to fuck anyone here.”

“Then be my guest, fuck who you please. Nothing is stopping you.” Severus raised an eyebrow. Of course he didn’t believe that. He would stop her in an instant if he could. Fuck, he just wanted Hermione back. But here she was, proving the point that she could get any other man she wanted and Severus could go fuck himself as far as she was concerned. 

“It’s not like you haven’t!” She argued, setting her mug on the side table. 

“I have, have I?” Severus snorted, taking a drink of his tea as if he couldn’t care less. He could care less actually, much much less. “He couldn’t have been that good, considering you snuck down here at 3am in a walk of shame no one could see but me.” 

“It is hardly any of your business what my sex life is like now, considering you decided you’d rather not be a part of it!” 

Severus tried not to show his anger then. She would throw it in his face like that, act as if he made this choice alone when clearly if she’d wanted to fight the decision, she could have. All she had to do was tell him how she really felt. In all reality, it was clear that Severus had only gotten his hopes up and she had only looked at him like a quick fuck, someone she conquered on her way to victory -marriage - to another man. 

“It’s not, just like mine is none of yours.” Severus stood up, looking down on Hermione. He wanted to fight fire with fire, but he did not have it in him. He decided the next best thing was to insinuate he found another woman’s mind more intriguing. It would drive Hermione mad. “Now if you excuse me, I have a few things to attend to before I meet with Professor Gnats about her syllabus for next semester. There are a few things I may want to add to my own.” 

“Of course, _Professor Snape_. Go on, you mustn’t keep her waiting.” The way she pronounced his name, as if it was dipped in acid, gave him a surge of satisfaction in knowing he’d gotten to her. It was short lived, however, when he realized he quite possibly fucked up any of what was left of their friendship. 

* * *

  
Severus didn’t speak to Hermione for the next three days. They were civil, of course, but they did not spend any more time than required in each other’s presence. They were busy. The end of the semester was approaching and there was much to be done as far as class material. At least, that is what they told themselves. Severus was probably spending all his time with Ivy anyway, Hermione decided.

During her rounds on Wednesday night with Pomona, Hermione was unusually quiet. 

“Whatever is going on with you, dear?” Pomona asked, placing her hand gently on Hermione’s arm. Hermione tried to smile and insist she was fine, but Pomona had seen straight through her. “It’s Severus, isn’t it? He’s been avoiding you.” 

“Yes.” Hermione admitted, “Though I’ve been avoiding him too. We had a bit of an argument.” She looked at the ground as they walked slowly through the castle. She couldn’t keep her mind off Severus those last three days. She was angry and disappointed and honestly, heart broken. He was her best friend and now...now he was nothing at all. She should have _never_ thought to hurt him in that way. 

“I see.” Pomona said softly. “I can’t say I’m surprised, he’s a feisty one for sure.” she laughed shortly and Hermione smiled a bit. “But he adores you, I’m certain if you just talked to him there isn’t anything the two of you can’t work through.” 

Hermione closed her eyes for a moment, not looking at Pomona. He might have adored her at one time, whether it be romantically or platonically, but now, she could guarantee Severus was only looking at her with disdain. He was the king of it, afterall. “I can’t, Pomona!” Hermione bit her lip and sucked in a breath. “He’s not interested in being with me, he can’t even make a friendship work.”

“Dear, I’ve known Severus since he was eleven years old. The man has seen it all and has never to my knowledge been in any sort of relationship. He doesn’t always do the right thing or say the right thing, but he’s got a good heart. I promise you, he will be willing to try if you are.” 

“He wouldn’t try, not with me. Not after he dumped me so he could be with _her._ ” Hermione stopped walking and closed her eyes, willing herself not to cry. She was strong and she did not need Severus to make her happy or whole. But gods if it didn’t hurt to know Severus wasn’t hers any longer. 

“Her? Whatever do you mean? He’s been smitten with you for months now, Hermione.” Pomona soothed, stepping in front of her. Her hands wrapped around Hermione’s forearms and she smiled softly. 

“He knows how much I hate her and he went to her anyway. He lied to me, Pomona. He lied and went running into her arms!” she stared at the dark stain on Pomona’s robes, dirt probably, trying to calm down. She was seconds from crying and Hermione no longer wanted to cry over Severus. It was childish and pointless and completely stupid. He wasn’t crying over her. 

“Did you ask him about it? Perhaps you’re simply mistaken.” Pomona asked carefully, leaning down to catch her eyes. She was smiling gently and Hermione looked up at her, eyes welling with tears she didn’t want to shed. 

“No, but I saw. He was kissing her, right there in the corridor where anyone could see. I can’t blame him really, she looks just like Harry’s mum and I know how much he loved her-”

“Professor Gnats?” Pomona interrupted gently, “Severus hates that woman, he’s been threatening to hex and curse her every day since she was hired. I don’t see why his opinion would change so suddenly.” Pomona gave a short laugh, squeezing Hermione’s forearm. 

“I saw him…” Hermione sucked in a shaking breath, trying not to cry. 

“Dear, trust me. Sometimes with Severus, you have to look a little harder to see his true feelings. Other times, they’re written plain on his face if only you know where to look. I promise you, he asked Minerva to work alone. He’s refusing to go anywhere near her.” 

“I...Pomona I did something terrible!” Hermione admitted, looking at the older witch with wide eyes. Now she was crying and there was no stopping her. “No, no no no, I can’t believe I did that to him. I thought he—fuck.” She breathed, backing herself into the nearest wall. 

Pomona sighed softly, stepping over to rub her shoulder soothingly. “Oh, Hermione.” Pomona looked at her sadly, her other hand squeezing the young witch’s arm. “I don’t know what happened between the two of you, but you need to talk to him.”

“I thought he was seeing her. I wanted...oh, Pomona what have I done!” Hermione sobbed and the older witch pulled her to her chest. It was warm and inviting and Hermione knew then why Severus turned to Pomona for comfort. She shushed her, rubbing Hermione’s back soothingly. 

“Listen to me.” Pomona said firmly after letting the worst of Hermione’s sobs subside into dull sniffs. “You go and talk to him. Apologize and dear, mean it. That man can hold grudges like nobody’s business, but for the people he loves, you’ll find him to be very forgiving.”

Hermione nodded against her shoulder. They stood silently in the hall for a few more minutes before Hermione reluctantly pulled away and gave Pomona a small, sad smile. “Thank you.” She whispered. 

* * *

Hermione spent the next day in a daze, thinking about the previous night’s conversation. How could he possibly forgive her for what she’d done? And did Severus _actually_ do the things it seemed like he did or was Pomona speaking the truth?

Hermione didn’t know what she should do. She wanted Severus back, so much. He was more than her best friend now, she wanted him forever. She knew it was silly and perhaps childish to think that way, but Severus was it. She knew all she wanted was him, forever. 

She avoided him still, as did he. He still looked at her, long lingering looks which made Hermione’s heart break. He wanted her, she decided. But she had been so mean to him, done such a thing she wasn’t sure he would forgive her for. 

Besides that, he had been acting like an ass. If he’d wanted her so badly, he should have told her! Though, Hermione couldn’t say that, she couldn’t be such a hypocrite. The two of them were going nowhere fast, the more they pushed each other away. Hermione made her decision. She had to talk with him, no more walking in circles and pretending nothing was going on. 

But, it just so happened, Ivy Gnats had found her way to Hermione’s side as she escaped to her rooms for the night. She had to have been following Hermione - her rooms were on the other side of the castle. 

“Hermione, dear!” Gnats called, dropping a well manicured hand on her shoulder. Hermione winced. “Just the girl I was hoping to see.” 

“Yes. Well, I have no time.” Hermione replied briskly, continuing down the hall. 

“Oh but, you’ll need to hear this.” Gnats continued. Her voice was condescending. Smug. Of fucking course, this awful woman couldn’t just leave her alone, could she? “I know Severus won’t say anything…” 

Hermione stopped and whirled around and glared at the older witch. She didn’t say anything, only crossed her arms and looked at her expectantly. _Severus_. 

Hermione wondered just what kind of trouble Gnats would try to pull now. A small pet of her wondered if whatever Gnats would say next, would be true or not. 

“You have to know, hun. Severus and I really didn’t know how to tell you this and, well. You know Severus.” She smirked, leaning gracefully against the wall, that perfectly done face looking as vindictive as ever though gave an air of confidence. “It’s so lovely how such simple things like a walk around the castle after dark grows such strong relationships, you know?”

“On with it, Gnats.” Hermione snapped, swallowing hard. She had a good idea of where this was going. She sighed, willing herself to be strong. She knew what kind of person Ivy Gnats could be. 

“Oh, I don't know if you know, but the way he looks when he comes is simply divine.” Gnats moaned ever so softly and Hermione scowled deeper. This vapid slag, acting as if she could make Hermione jealous. “Oh and his cock...it’s huge, isn’t it? It fills me up just right. Did you know we did it right here in this corridor?” 

Hermione sucked in a breath and willed herself to calm down. This was indeed the hall in which she found the two of them locked in a kiss. It couldn’t be, right? Pomona had said—she made it clear he wasn’t interested in her.

“Hermione...he is the perfect lover. He’s asked me not to say anything but, I know how much you’ve been pinning away after him all year and I just couldn’t let him hurt you like that.” 

“That’s not true.” Hermione said darkly, staring hard into her eyes. It wasn’t true. It wasn’t. Severus wanted _her_ , not Gnats. He did, didn’t he? 

“Don’t be upset, he really should have told you months ago. I just thought you’d like to know, Hun. I know he’s your best friend and all, but he just doesn’t like you like that."

* * *

“Why not? We go every year, Pomona.” Severus grumbled, crossing his arms. That woman was being incredibly difficult. Severus couldn’t possibly ask Hermione to go to the ball with him, not after everything. His heart was broken and there was no one else in this castle, save for Minerva, that he could go to. His surrogate mother was the best option and she had failed him. Severus shouldn’t even go to the ball at all!

“Severus, you know why not,” Pomona sighed gently, leaning against the raised plant bed. “You need to talk to her, you know she loves you.”

“She’s been avoiding me all week! She shagged that Weasley boy, made sure I _knew_ she was with someone else!" Severus chucked a trowel to the ground in anger.

“Ah, so that is what she was referring to last evening.” Pomona smiled faintly. Severus kicked the discarded trowel across the floor of the greenhouse. “Now, Severus, you pick that up! There is no reason to disrespect my greenhouse simply because you are a stubborn git!”

Severus’ face flushed and he bent to pick up the trowel, tossing it into the nearest plant bed with a scowl. “Happy?” 

“Of course I’m not, Severus! That girl practically cried in my arms last night. All because she thought she ruined everything between you for such a silly mistake.” 

“Yes well, that’s her own fault.” 

“She made a mistake, and from what I understand, so have you. Do not be hypocritical, put aside your pride, and tell her how you feel.” 

“She doesn’t want me, Pomona.” Severus finally gave a defeated sigh, looking up at her. He had never felt so foolish in his life, crying over Hermione Granger in the greenhouse. What had his life come to? He knew she would only hurt him in the end and yet he kept this up. He should have never allowed her into his bed. At least he would still have his best friend. 

“I think she does, sweetheart.” Pomona moved forward, touching his cheek softly. He leaned into her, tears threatening to spill out. It wouldn’t be the first time he cried in front of Pomona, but he still did not want to show this weakness. Pomona pulled Severus to her chest, though she was much shorter than the man, and held him against her. “I don’t think she wants anyone but you, Severus.”

Pomona’s hand was rubbing soothing circles on his back and he was reluctant to pull back. She smiled softly at him, brushing his hair from his face. “I will go to the ball with you, but only if you talk to her first. If she turns you down, then I will be there, you know that.”

Severus nodded, stepping out of her embrace. 

* * *

“Go away, Severus!” Hermione called through the door. Severus banged again and again but still no answer. He’d been there over a half an hour, everything short of begging for Hermione to let him in. All he wanted was to talk to her and apologize. He wanted her to know he loved her. 

But she refused. Severus sucked in a shaky breath, hand raking through his hair. He could break in, of course he could, but what good would that do? She would likely just throw him out. 

“Hermione... _please_.” He said quietly, the fight going out of him. She didn’t answer and Severus gave one last hard bang on the door with his fist before stalking back down the corridor holding back his angry tears. 

* * *

Severus stepped into the Great Hall, Pomona on his arm. She patted his hand affectionately, allowing him to lead her to a table where the other staff sat. He scanned the room, it appeared they were early, but then, Severus was always early. 

“You should have asked her, Severus.” Pomona said for only him to hear.

Severus looked at her sadly, “She wouldn’t talk to me.” 

Pomona gave him a sad smile. “I know, dear.” 

The two of them sat together at the table, looking out into the crowd, watching everyone arrive. Severus was sure he wouldn’t be sticking around for long, only enough to make his appearance and the illusion he was doing his job chaperoning. Then he would disappear into his private quarters to drink and have a good, lonely cry. 

And then Hermione walked in. Severus’ breath caught in his throat, taking in the beautiful emerald dress robes draped perfectly over her curves. Her smile was bright, hair curled down her shoulders. Severus wanted so much to go to her, but she wasn’t alone. Ron was on her arm.

Severus glared at the couple, she looked happy and maybe he should be happy for her but Severus just didn’t have it in him. He wished he would have talked to her sooner, he wished she knew how much he truly loved her.

The more she laughed and smiled, the more Ron Weasley put his hands on _his_ Hermione, Severus was growing more and more upset. That should have been him. He should be with her. That boy didn’t even deserve her! 

Not that Severus deserved her either, but still. It was the principle of it all—that Weasley boy took her away from Severus and then had the audacity to let his eyes wander. If that were him, Severus would have never even bothered to look at anyone but Hermione. In fact, since she’d walked in, he didn’t think he had taken his eyes off of her. 

She happened to meet his gaze for a moment and he found himself hopeful that she’d changed her mind. Then she smirked and touched her hand to Weasley’s cheek softly, pressing a small kiss to his cheek. 

Severus was across the room in an instant. He heard Pomona follow behind him. She would try to diffuse the situation, but Severus was not going to let her. 

Hermione looked up at him in surprise when he approached. She recovered quickly, however, and gave him a stiff, formal smile. “Severus.” She nodded once, “I'm surprised your date has allowed you out of her sight.” 

Severus frowned, “What?” He sneered, glancing at Pomona who now stood off to the side. “Unless she's gone blind, I think she can see me just fine.” 

“What is it you want, Severus?” Hermione asked and Severus noticed how Ron’s hand tightened on her arm. He glared at the younger man. 

“I want to know why you brought _him_.” Severus sneered, “What point are you trying to prove now?”

“I came because she wants _me_ ,” Weasley looked down on him, or at least made a humorous attempt to, “More than you can say, Snape.”

“Shut it, Weasley.” Severus growled. His attempt at one-upping Severus was sad and only irritated Severus more simply because he knew Hermione had no interest in him. 

“There is no _point_ , Severus.” Hermione narrowed her eyes, “I’ve brought Ron, he’s my date and I would appreciate it if you left me alone.” 

Her voice was icy. So cold Severus nearly shivered. She wanted nothing to do with him. He was right, as he always was, that he’d fuck it all up somehow. That she’d leave eventually. 

“You and I both know you’re only using him. Don’t act all high and mighty as if you’d moved on without me when you’re only flaunting a disaster of a relationship in my face.” Severus kept his voice level, calm. There were students around and at least they were away from prying ears, for the most part. In all honesty, Severus felt anything but calm. 

Hermione’s face reddened and she huffed out a breath. “How _dare_ you, Severus. You had your chance to tell me what you wanted from me! If you wanted me so bad, why didn’t you ask me here yourself?”

“I tried!” Severus growled quietly, taking a step closer. He felt Pomona’s hand on his arm and he steadied his breathing. 

“Obviously you didn’t try hard enough! And the lies—Severus, you’re jealous and a cheat. You can’t have both. I _know_ what you’ve been doing with her and if you can’t choose, I’ll make the decision simple for you. I’m _done._ ” Hermione was strong, Severus had to give it to her. Until she wasn’t. She was practically sobbing when she turned on her heel, stalking out of the Great Hall. Ron gaped after her and Severus stared daggers at the boy until he took off, scared out of his pants more than likely. 

_Gnats_. He knew it, he knew she would only fuck everything up for him if she could. And oh, she did. Severus told her to stay away from them, he threatened her until she nearly pissed herself! That woman would never learn, would she?

Speak of the devil, there she was, in elegant jewel tones with her hair twisted in a complicated pinup laughing gaily with a few staff members. Severus saw red. He stalked across the room, ignoring Pomona’s attempt to stop him, and grabbed her arm forcefully. 

Gnats laughed it off, as if she thought he was whisking her away for a romantic tryst in the corridor, but it was far from it. Once they were safely out of the Great Hall, he had her slammed against the wall, wand drawn to her throat. 

“What. Did. You. Do!” He barked, causing her to flinch. 

“Whatever do you mean, Sev?” Gnats asked innocently, giving no struggle at all. She looked rather smug if Severus was being honest. It made him angry. 

“What the fuck did you say to her, Gnats!” Severus growled, pressing the tip of his wand hard onto her throat. Suddenly he was forcibly pulled backwards and he recovered quickly, turning his wand on Minerva. 

“Severus! What is the meaning of this?” She looked quite upset and Severus felt only a little bad about what he’d done. By her side, Pomona had her hands on her hips, glaring at Severus in disappointment. He was back on Gnats in an instant, his wand pointing at her menacingly. 

“Tell me, Gnats! What the fuck did you do?” Severus ignored the other witches, turning back to the other woman, gasping against the wall. 

“Oh, I only told her what happened in the hall the other night.” She shrugged, giving a sly smile. “I may have embellished a bit, but, I’m sure she got the picture.” 

“You vapid bitch!” Severus growled, going at her again. He had her shoved against the wall, a curse on his lips. 

“Severus!” Pomona cried, grabbing his arm lightly. He scowled and backed away reluctantly after shoving Gnats once more. She was right, he had to control himself. He gave her another sneer and Pomona gave Severus a small shove in the opposite direction. “Go find Hermione.” she demanded and he listened. He knew if he stuck around, Ivy Gnats would be in the hospital wing. 

“I want you gone within the hour, Miss Gnats” Minerva’s curt voice rang through the corridor as Severus stalked away from the scene. 

* * *

“Hermione, wait!” Severus called, running to catch up. She didn’t stop for him and it took him a while to get anywhere close to her. As he got closer, he could hear her sobs and his heart broke just a little more. 

“Fuck off, Severus!” She called without so much of a glance toward him. He huffed angrily, stalking after her until he was close enough to touch her. Though he still held his wand in his right hand, he refused to do magic for this. 

“Stop!” he growled, grabbing her arm and whirling her around. She looked at him with a tear stained face and his own face softened at the sight. He wanted to pull her into his arms, but he still did not. She wretched herself from his grasp and he let her. 

“I don’t want to hear it, any of it. I am done, alright? Completely and honestly finished with this relationship, all of it.” She sobbed, glaring at him through her tears. Severus swallowed hard and took a minute to compose himself before he responded. 

“You wouldn’t even let me explain! You just take off, refusing to even bother to ask how I felt. My side of the fucking story, Hermione! Fuck!” he yelled, stepping back and raking his free hand through his hair. 

“You don’t need to explain a damn thing, Severus. Go home, go back to that busty slag, I don’t give a fuck where you go as long as it is far away from me!” Hermione cried, turning on her heel and stalking back down the corridor.

“Busty slag?” He snorted angrily, “Oh come off it, Hermione. I was never involved with Gnats and you bloody know it!”

“Oh do I?” She whirled around, wand drawn. He kept his deliberately at his side. She could hex him for all he cared, and he’d let her. “I watched her, Severus. Pretty fucking hard to disprove when I watched you snog her in the corridor!”

“What!” Severus’ mouth dropped open and he gripped his wand tighter at his side but still did not draw it. It took him a moment to realize what she was talking about and he huffed angrily. “What you saw was that vapid bitch assaulting me. I would never stoop so low as to shag that frigid cunt!” 

Hermione snorted and rolled her eyes. “And I’m supposed to believe that? After everything I’ve heard?”

“Everything you- so you’ve decided to believe her over me? What do you want, proof? I’ll get the sodding pensieve, Hermione, go ahead and see _exactly_ the shit she pulled that night. But of course, you couldn’t possibly be bothered to ask me what’d happened before you ran off to fuck that ginger tosser.” 

“Don’t call him that, Severus! Leave Ron out of this, he had absolutely nothing to do with any of this.”

“I don’t have to do shit, Hermione. If you think he’s better for you than I am, fine. I’m not stopping you. It is _exactly_ what I’d expected.”

“No, he’s certainly not, I have no feelings for him and if you’d bothered to speak to me at all this week, you’d realize how awful I felt about it.” Hermione sobbed hysterically, “Maybe that’s the problem, Severus. You didn’t stop me, you didn’t say a damn word! You dumped _me_ , remember? You don’t get to decide to come back because you’re jealous of who I chose to be with when I couldn’t have you. You’re too fucking busy feeling sorry for yourself for being alive to care exactly what you’ve done to me.”

Severus took a shuddering breath, “You have your whole life ahead of you, Hermione. You can have any man you want and who am I?” He laughed bitterly, “You don’t realize I am not young, I am not attractive, I am not kind and I am nothing special. For you, perhaps you were just biding your time until the right man came along but for me, this was serious. I ended this, Hermione. I ended this because I knew I would _never_ be enough for you. I knew I wasn't and you deserved so much fucking better."

"You are not my decision maker, Severus. Don't tell me whose enough for me." Hermione sniffed quietly, "You deserved to live, you know that? I _love_ you. I love _you_ , not Ron, not any one else. You could have asked me how I felt. You could have told me. You dumped me, made me feel as if I wasn't good enough for _you_ because I didn't look like that Lily-lookalike bitch!"

Severus laughed then, bringing his hand up to rub his eyes. "Lily-lookalike? Is that what you think- Hermione, you are much more intelligent and beautiful than she'll ever be." He sighed, dropping his hand to his side and hesitantly meeting her eyes. Her face was tear streaked and puffy, but she was no longer pointing her wand at him and she was no longer sobbing. "I don't want her, you _know_ I never did. Fuck, why couldn't you talk to me?"

"You would never want me. Not when you could have someone like her." Hermione whispered and Severus closed the distance between them to take her into his arms. 

"I will always want you. All the time, every day." Severus murmured before pulling her into a kiss. She was kissing him back, a good sign, and her hand went to his cheek. Severus pulled back, leaning their foreheads together. "I'm sorry. I should have said- Fuck, I never wanted to hurt you."

"I know." Hermione whispered, "I'm sorry, Severus." her thumb moved softly against his cheek. 

"I love you." Severus said quietly, holding her close. "And I will do whatever it takes to make this work, Hermione. You are my best friend, always."

He would. No more games, no more lying. Hermione smiled, her other hand going to his hair and pulling him into a slow kiss. "I love you, Severus." 

Severus pulled her as close as he could, wrapping her in a hug. He knew they had so much to work on, communication for one. But after everything the two of them had been through, he knew he would go to the ends of the world to make this work with Hermione. This was _their_ life and Severus was never happier for a second chance. 


End file.
